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Bad First Dates

Monday, 4 June 2018

Sign saying: We don't have wi-fi, talk to each other


I've shared relationship advice, (cheap) date ideas but not actual, real life dating stories.  The idea didn't occur to me until I got into twitter conversation with Rachel from Our Rach Blogs about terrible first dates:

@ourrachblogs "You're on a first date. Everything is going amazingly. Better than you could've imagined. You get on to the subject of comedy's & they reveal Mrs Brown's Boys is their favourite.  The devastation is palpable but remember it's better to be single. ... They could tick all the boxes but you'll never be able to forgive the Mrs Brown's Boys revelation & that's ok. I get it."

@mrs_tubbs: "When one first date took me to KFC for “a lovely meal out” I knew we were done.  Compared to you I got off lightly "  There weren't enough characters for the rest of the story ... After we'd eaten, we went to the cinema.  By the time the film finished, the last train had left.  We walked back to station to pick up a taxi.  The cab company was closed for the night, but the rank was open.  After 10 minutes, my date announced he was bored waiting, could walk home and left after wishing me luck.  As it was super late, the taxi driver wasn't thrilled about taking my fare but agreed after the couple who behind me in the queue pointed out that he'd lose his licence if he didn't take me as I was on my own.  I have no idea if that's was true but it worked and I got home safely ...  There was no Date Two.

@BillyJones00 disagreed: "KFC is an incredible place for a date, Large zinger meal with supercharged sauce is one of the most romantic meals out there".  We agreed to differ.  Proof you can have civilised disagreements on twitter.  

@annemariewyley won though, with: "How about an all you can eat Mexican buffet for a fiver. And he wasn't doing the buying."  Classy!

After that, a post about bad dating experiences seemed like a no brainer.

Once was enough ...

Sophie (Soph-Opressed): "Was invited out for dinner but didn't realise it was at his house which was in turn his mum's house! She cooked us fish fingers which were still frozen in the middle. Afterwards his mum made us 'cocktails' but the glass was filthy and there was floaty bits in it. He then said his dad would take us into town but I didn't realise by us he meant his mum and dad also. It was the weirdest, most uncomfortable date of my life!"


Sinead (Sinead Latham): "I had a blind date in the very early days of online dating.  He was telling me about his work and I suddenly twigged he worked with one of my best friends.  Whilst a lovely person, he was as dull as dishwater and after an hour of listening to his love of trains I made a swift exit.  I told my friend what happened and he informed me that his mate thought it went ever so well.  Over the years social gatherings have had to be carefully planned. As never the Twain shall meet".


Kelly (Day Dreams of  Mum): "Went on the BEST date with a guy. Took me for champagne afternoon tea , Was Ridiculously charming. Ended the date with 'I'm married that's not a problem is it"......yes , yes it is".  


Jen (Just Average Jen): "When I was at university I got chatting to a bloke in a pizza shop then went home with my mates as normal. The following day I had no recollection of him and all my friends could remember was what pizza he ordered and the colour of his hair so not helpful. He sent me a massive bouquet of flowers and his phone number. I phoned to thank him and he asked me on a date to the cinema. As soon as he arrived and I got in the taxi I realised we had nothing in common and didn't fancy him at all. Was a very awkward date as the card with the flowers didn't have his name on so I hadn't a clue who I was with as felt awkward saying I had no memory of the pizza shop. There was no second date I only found his name out when he text to thank me for a nice night and ask me out again."


Carla-Marie (My Bump 2 Baby): "I was invited to dinner by a so-called "Burnley footballer" - at 18 years old being a wag seemed my ideal occupation. I dressed up to the nines, walked in to the front room to say bye to my dad... a car pulled up and dad asked where I was off to? I told him I was off out with the footballer and told him his name.. he replied "don't think so love" I was confused... he added "that's him playing now and pointed to the Burnley game on tv"... I headed out anyway because I was bloody starving and just let him talk about his footy career as I stuffed my face and let him pay. 

It wasn't half as embarrasing for me as it was for him when when I got out the car and asked him the question "how do you do it?" "Do what?" he replied... "be in two places at once?" I responded, "whilst we were eating you were also playing football on TV?" He was all red faced, apologised and said he was really a fireman and showed me his badge - I mean why would you lie about being a footballer when you are a hero fireman? Still baffles me".


Laura (Five Little Doves): "Aged 17 I had a first date with an older guy who I was desperate to impress. He took me for a lovely meal and it was all going well until we got back outside to his car and 8 of my friends had taken it upon themselves to come and cover his entire car with shaving foam and then write "rude" (and massively childish!!) words all over it! Safe to say I never had a second date!!"  [Note to self, never annoy Laura].


Zoe (Lycawidow): "Many years ago I travelled down to London to meet someone I’d been chatting to for a few months on a dating site. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was going to be disastrous. He managed to look scruffy in a suit! Sure enough we went for dinner and he told the waiter “she will be drinking white wine as that’s what ladies do” the waiter was French so I switched to French and asked the waiter to recommend the best Vin Rouge to go with my meal. Mr disaster told me he hoped if ordered the most expensive wine because I would be paying for it myself seeing as I wasn’t gracious enough to accept his recommendation. 

I got half way through my meal, told said date I was going to the ladies room, grabbed the bottle of wine and jumped on the last train home!"


Justine (Lil Jem and Baby E): "I went on a date during my Uni years, and tried to strike up conversation: 

Studying? - No, he didn't want to talk about education.  
Work? - Hated work, didn't want to talk about it.  
Hobbies? - Didn't have any so nothing to say.  
Holidays? - Hadn't been on any, wasn't due to go on any.
Family and pets? - Wasn't interested in talking about them.

In the end I text a friend to come and get me. I turned the guy down who asked for a second date, and then got told I was "stuck-up" for not wanting to take it any further. Nah mate, but I like a conversation!"


Geraldine (It's Me & Ethan): "I once when out on a date with a guy who kept covering his mouth every time he spoke.  I had had enough and asked him was that a habit.  He replied "was what a habit ?" while covering his mouth again.  I pointed at his hand.  "That" I laughed, thinking maybe the dude was nervous or something.  "This I mean" as I demonstrated exactly what he was doing.  He was embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders while nodding.  I didn't know what to say only "stop covering your mouth , just talk and I'll listen".  "Okay" he smiled.  Teeth like the back of a hammer ...

Bless him he was a nice guy but I could see why he was covering his mouth   I then said my initial thoughts out loud: "why don't you get to a dentist ?" and sure that was the end of that.  Yes I'm the ass in this story".


But if it's meant to be ...

A bad first date doesn't matter at all:

Jade (Mummies Waiting): My (now husband) invited me out for dinner, we went to Pizza Hut, he brought his son and best friend with him. Half way though the meal his son needed his nappy changing, so he asked me to do it! (He didn’t think he would have access to a changing table).  At the end of the meal he paid for himself, his son and his best friend and I paid for myself.  It was the strangest first date and I wind him up about it now and he comes back with the fact ‘I ate all the sharing cookie’ (I didn’t!)


Kayleigh (Inspire Gratitude and Manifest): "Not quite a horror story but one im always reminded of and it makes me cringe every time! 

I’ve not really had many dates. One I had was from meeting a guy online. We met at the cinema to see a film which was fine. Afterwards, he asked me if I wanted to get food so just went to a kebab shop. We walked around talking for a bit but I was noticing my tights falling down and of course to make a good impression I was wearing massive hold it all in pants. It got to a point where I just had to stop and say I’m really sorry about this, whipped up my dress to sort everything out. 

To make matters even better when we said goodbye I gave him a double thumbs up. He looked at me like I was a right nutter and I was mortified thinking well that went really well... "

However, five years later we are actually still together and expecting a baby so perhaps my flashing massive pants and a double thumbs up was the way to go."


Emma (Island Living 365): "My first date with my husband was awful. I had recently had my tongue pierced and at our meal I rather stupidly ordered risotto. The risotto then got stuck on my tongue piercing and I spent the majority of the meal pulling strange faces behind my hand as I tried to get the risotto off. I then managed to get it off but it somehow flew out of my mouth, narrowly missing him and hitting the wall behind him. On top of that I insisted on paying for my half, refused to accept his offer of paying for it and then realised that I had left my purse on my office desk ... it was the worst date of my life and I'm still not how we ended up getting married ".

Thank you everyone who shared stories.  Unfortunately I couldn't use them all.


In case you were wondering ...

Our first date was drinks and a meal in Convent Garden.  Followed by a walk around and a go on the sadly now gone Carousel.  We had such a good time we went out again a few days later ...

Stay safe

Whether it's the first date or the fifth, Staying safe and protecting yourself is really important.  Meet somewhere public and tell someone where you are going.  Don't feel pressured to go back to theirs or invite them back to yours. Don't feel bad if it's not going well and you just want to go home. There's lots of other advice on Get Safe Online.  (Not a collaborative post at all, just seemed sensible to mention this aspect of dating under the circumstances!!!)

Any bad date stories to share?

Hope you all endured enjoyed half-term.  We did a few family things, went to the DC Dawn of Super Heroes Exhibition and saw Solo at the cinema.  Rev T is safely back from Atlanta and had a wonderful time.  He has gifted me 3 - yes 3! - guest posts that I'll share in September.  I can feel the Blogosphere winding down for summer.

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Posted by Tubbs

32 comments

  1. Heather Keet4 June 2018 at 09:54

    I laughed so hard at some of these, I'm glad my dating days are behind me! #AnythingGoes

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    1. Tubbs4 June 2018 at 16:05

      Glad I made you laugh :)

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  2. Tracy Albiero4 June 2018 at 12:47

    Stories like this make me glad I am married! #anything goes

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    1. Tubbs4 June 2018 at 16:05

      Me too!

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  3. Michelle4 June 2018 at 13:49

    I've certainly had my share of bad first dates. These are some bad ones though. I honestly question the validity of dating these day lol #anythinggoes

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    1. Tubbs4 June 2018 at 16:05

      Some of these are amazingly bad aren't they?!

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  4. Laurie5 June 2018 at 11:43

    After reading all of the stories about terrible first dates, I am glad I have been married for almost 40 years! My first date with my hubby was a walk in the woods - very pretty and romantic.

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    1. Tubbs5 June 2018 at 11:51

      I read some of them and was grateful I don't have to do that any more as well! Your first date sounds lovely :)

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  5. Karen Dennis6 June 2018 at 10:27

    Ha, makes me feel glad that I am too old for dating, also as I am married it would be out of bounds anyway #fortheloveofblog@_karendennis

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    1. Tubbs6 June 2018 at 20:57

      I know! I read some of those and figured if that KFC wasn't all the bad really!

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  6. Alex - My Life Long Holiday6 June 2018 at 19:27

    This is the funniest post I have read in a while - totally loved it! And so nice to hear a few familiar voices in here. I'd heard Emma's (Island Living) before and wondered if it would be in there and sure enough! I loved the teeth one, the tights one, the I'm married one and the fishfinger one! Brilliant! Ahhh, they live amongst us! #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Tubbs6 June 2018 at 20:58

      They do! The footballer one was just ... Wow. Especially as he was a fireman and I've never meet a woman who didn't love fireman ever!

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  7. Lydia C. Lee7 June 2018 at 09:49

    The fishfinger one is too weird...dying to know how old they were? #FortheloveofBLOG

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    1. Tubbs7 June 2018 at 17:25

      I should have asked but I didn't think too. Darn!

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  8. Enda Sheppard7 June 2018 at 11:26

    Really enjoyed that ... real, 'we can laugh about it now' stuff #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Tubbs7 June 2018 at 17:25

      Thank you :) Some of them are just jaw dropping ...

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  9. Annette, 3 Little Buttons8 June 2018 at 16:24

    Oh my gosh! Those stories!!! You just couldn't make them up could you. Especially loving the one where the so called footie player managed to be in two places at once. Classic. Thanks for bringing all the giggles to the #DreamTeam this week :-)

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    1. Tubbs10 June 2018 at 16:17

      That was the one of the ones that amazed me the most. Everyone I know loves firemen so why on earth would one pretend to be a footballer?!

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  10. Unknown9 June 2018 at 16:49

    This really made me laugh. I could of course add to this but I won't! Some real corkers in my past. I loved all of these stories - it makes me wonder how we would all fare now - especially with the online dating world. Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Tubbs10 June 2018 at 16:17

      That's true. :) Online adds a whole new dimension to dating ...

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  11. Sharon9 June 2018 at 18:42

    Haha brilliant. I haven't got any stories but I was aghast at some of these! The fish fingers at the parent's house was most horrifying I think! Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. Tubbs10 June 2018 at 16:18

      That was pretty grim ...

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  12. alid10 June 2018 at 21:51

    After reading this, I am glad that I have never had a bad date, well no more than awkward ones that we know will never become a second.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

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    1. Tubbs11 June 2018 at 11:06

      Some of those stories did make me feel very grateful ... :)

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  13. The Queen of Collage11 June 2018 at 21:28

    Some great stories here. #fortheloveofBLOG

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    1. Tubbs12 June 2018 at 15:28

      Some of these are fantastic to read, but I'm glad I didn't actually have to live them. KFC dinner sounds quite good in comparison!

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  14. Daydreams of a mum11 June 2018 at 22:32

    Oh there's something about reading bad first dates stories that's just entertaining. Thanks for including my one #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Tubbs12 June 2018 at 15:30

      Pleasure! What an absolute horror he sounds ...

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  15. Jo - Mother of Teenagers11 June 2018 at 22:45

    Nikki some wonderful stories here and a useful reminder of what can go wrong. Thanks for sharing it with us and making me chuckle on a very dull Monday night. #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. Tubbs12 June 2018 at 15:30

      Indeed! At least these were funny wrong rather than scary, awful wrong. Glad I made you chuckle :)

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  16. Anonymous18 June 2018 at 14:26

    Oh gosh, some of these really are terrible and enough to put you off dating for life. I don't think I had any that were bad enough to share, I did have one very casual boyfriend who used to comment on other girls when we were out, I ended that one pretty sharpish!
    Thanks for sharing
    #tweensteensbeyond sorry for this comment being late. I have been ill!

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    1. Tubbs18 June 2018 at 20:04

      Thank you for commenting and hope you're feeling better now.

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