Rest

"God blessed the seventh day and made it special because on that day he rested from his work."

(CEV, Genesis 2:3)

Pretty much every conversation I have usually includes someone saying, "I'm just SO busy ...".  Rushing from thing to thing.  Often with no break in-between or time to enjoy what's been done or reflect on it. 

Rest is a vital part of life.  Rest is more than just slowing down for a few hours or finding some moments of down-time.  It's about finding ways to take life more slowly and thoughtfully  I seem to be either part sloth or completely full on.  With no middle ground.  Busy, busy, busy ... Until I fall over.  Exhausted.  Stressed out. 

Everyone needs some down time.  Some space.  Away from it all.  No social media or email.  A few boring but necessary chores.  Nothing much really ... Just pottering about with Rev T and the Tubblet and being.  It's part of being kind to ourselves.  A vital part of enjoying and appreciating life.  

I'm trying - with varying degrees of success - to find ways to slow down and take time doing things rather than rushing through them so I can start on the next task.  There are activities I could do less of or simply stop.  Busyness is not a measure of self worth, success or importance.  

It's not possible to do everything at once.  You just end up doing them badly.  Important things - and people - may get lost along the way.  There has to be time to chat to family and friends about their day.  To play with Mufasa.  To have a proper lunch-break.  To go for walks.  To blog twice a week. To keep the house clean ... If there's no room for those then I've got too much on and something needs to change.  Locking myself in the toilet until it all goes away isn't really an option ... However tempting it sometimes is.

The world looks very different when I have managed to slow down enough to enjoy it.  There's time to see the faces around me.  Hopefully I'll notice who needs a little help, an invite to coffee or a hug.

Are you rushing from one thing to the next or taking things more slowly?  How do you manage it?

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A Look Inside St Paul's Church, Covent Garden

By stevecadman on Flickr

Rev T's wanders around London often involve poking around churches.  I've lost count of the number of side streets we've darted down after he's spotted a promising looking old building.  We've uncovered as many gems as disappointments over the years.  Here's one of his successes.  

If you've been to Covent Garden, you've seen St Paul's Church.  Either while walking somewhere else or standing in front of it watching the busker's perform. 

The church was built by Indigo Jones in 1633 and has a beautiful churchyard where you can grab a few moments of peace and quiet before venturing back into a very busy part London.  It's known as the Actor's Church because of the connections with theatre-land and many famous actors are have their ashes or are commemorated at the church.  Charlie Chaplin, Noel Coward, Gracie Fields, Vivien Leigh, Ivor Novello, Richard Beckinsale, Ellen Terry and Dame Edith Evans ... As well as services, there are performances and events.  It's a very busy place, but quiet and peaceful.  

Inside, it says:

"We seek to worship God as made known to us in Jesus Christ

We are unafraid to reason, laugh and explore

We know we need one another, as we try to embody our faith in our daily lives

We welcome people of faith, all who seek faith and friendship, and all who doubt".  

Here are a few photos of the inside of somewhere you may have walked past many times.  They may tempt you inside to see for yourself:  

Hope you enjoyed a well earned rest and a little peace.  Outside we go, now for it ...

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Talking to the MP about Brexit - Part 5

Another instalment in my occasional series of letters to my Tory Brexiter MP about Brexit.  I'm lobbying for a better Brexit rather than the "Hulk smash" kind of Brexit we seem to be heading towards.  At increasing speed.  

I do, sometimes, get a bit grumpy with my MP.  Mainly because the responses tend towards "thank you for your letter, lovely Brexit, thoughts and prayers" rather than actually engaging meaningfully with any of the points made.   

This seems a particularly appropriate post for today.  Hope everyone who's marching today has a wonderful time, raises their banners high and shakes Parliament's roof-tops.  (But not too much given the state of dis-repair).  Wish we could be there in person rather than in spirit.

17 June 2018 - Me to My MP

I am writing to ask you to vote for Dominic Grieve’s clause 5c or whatever it ends up being called after the House of Lords returns it to the Commons next week.

This is vital clause merely ensures in the event of no deal the House of Commons can re-assert control of the process. The country did not vote for a a no-deal Brexit and this was never mentioned as a potential outcome during the Referendum or General Election campaigns. The economic, social and political consequences would be terrible.  If that happens,  it is essential there is an informed, honest and open debate in our Parliament about what happens next before any decisions are made. 

As far as I can tell, two arguments have been put forward to reject this clause:

• That it would strengthen the hand of the EU in its negotiations and we would end up with a worse deal than otherwise.  The EU has always had a stronger hand in these negotiations as the UK is the one leaving while seeking to minimise the economic consequences.  Although people want Brexit, no one appears to want to pay for it.  

• That it is a ploy to reverse the will of the people as expressed in the referendum. There is a clear majority in Parliament for Brexit – and as Labour’s concession on the EEA amendment makes clear – for leaving the Single Market. All that is wanted is a desire for Parliament to control the terms of Brexit – especially in unknown circumstances of no deal – not to reverse it.  

What matters is that the nature of the deal is influenced by the interests of ordinary constituents and that there is a democratic debate and decision at what would be an incredibly difficult time. That is all the clause does.  It hands control and sovereignty to Parliament - one of the key drivers for Brexit.  It also helps make the government more accountable.   

Thank you for reading.  l look forward to hearing from you.

My MP to Me - 22 June 2018

Thank you for contacting me about the European Union Withdrawal Bill and making me aware of your views. As I am sure you will understand, I have received a large volume of correspondence from my constituents concerning the recent votes on the Lords amendments, and therefore I am not able to respond to each email individually.

I would like to set out from the start of my response that I did not support any of the amendments tabled to the EU Withdrawal Bill by the House of Lords. I did not believe the amendments either respected the referendum result, offered any protections that are not already guaranteed by the government or helped the government to negotiate on behalf of the United Kingdom as we leave the European Union. Consequently, these principles dictated why I voted against all the amendments. I have stated on many occasions my firm belief that Parliament voted overwhelmingly to have a referendum, the result was clear from a free and democratic referendum and Parliament therefore voted by a large majority to trigger Article 50 and begin the process of leaving the European Union, and these points must never be undermined and should be respected to ensure the best interests for our country and its renowned democratic process are fully implemented.

Furthermore, I want to address the amendments that have made up the vast majority of the emails I have received one at a time.

Firstly, with regard to Amendment 51 for the UK to remain in the European Economic Area, I strongly believe that to remain in the EEA and Single Market would be contrary to the wishes of the 17.4 million people who voted to leave the EU in the referendum. In 2017, I stood and was elected on a Conservative manifesto pledge for the UK to leave the EU, including both the Single Market and customs union. If we became members of the EEA, the UK would still have to accept EU rules, such as freedom of movement and the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice, and would have no say over the making of those rules.

These same arguments also apply to Amendments 1 and 2 to remain in a customs union with the EU. To remain in a customs union would remove the UK’s ability not only to pursue trade deals with non-EU countries, but would also remove the ability for the UK to reduce tariff rates. In fact, there has already been considerable interest for trade deals already from a number of countries on a global scale, including Australia, The US and India. In addition, the EU imposes high tariffs for many goods being imported into the UK, including, for example 10% for cars and as high as 20% for sugar and confectionery. However, as you know, departure from the European Union will give this country the chance to reduce or remove these import tariffs, which in turn will lower prices for UK consumers.

With regards to Amendment 19 and the more recent addition of Clause 5c, calling for a meaningful vote for Parliament on the Withdrawal Bill in the event of a no deal with the EU, I also voted against this amendment. To allow Parliament to direct the UK’s negotiations with the EU would be unprecedented, impractical and would severely weaken the government’s negotiating position.

Amendment 19 would effectively tie the hands of Government and reduce the chances of us getting a deal that is beneficial to the UK. It is clear that MPs will have their voice heard in the unlikely event that the UK leaves the EU without a deal, however I firmly believe that Parliament should not be granted the power to reverse the result clearly made by the British electorate in the referendum, and that this democratically-determined result must be respected and implemented.

I have also received emails concerning Amendment 3 to maintain the EU’s environmental principles in domestic law once the UK leaves the EU. I am strongly committed to ensuring the protection of our environment outside of the European Union, and I am happy that the EU Withdrawal Bill will enable the conversion of all EU environmental law into UK law once we leave in March 2019. Ultimately, I failed to see how Amendment 3 would have been sufficient to have fulfilled its aims, and therefore I voted against it. However, as you will know, the Government proposed another amendment which puts a legal obligation on the Government to publish an Environmental Principles Bill containing nine environmental principles within 6 months of the EU Withdrawal Bill becoming law, which I myself also voted for. This Bill also includes the setting-up of a government watchdog to hold the government to account over environmental protection and management in the future. I see the UK leaving the EU as a great opportunity to have the highest standards of environmental protection and I assure you that this is the aim of government as well.

I would also like to touch on Amendment 24, which would enable unaccompanied child refugees in one EU member state to join relatives in another EU state. I do agree that the Dublin Regulation itself has done much to help asylum-seeking children since its creation. However, if this regulation were to be continued indefinitely, this would create a semi-permanent scheme that would not only create an additional pull factor that will lead to more children travelling dangerously across the Mediterranean, but would inevitably put more children in the hands of unscrupulous people traffickers. The UK has always been at the forefront of refugee protection on a global scale and the government is seeking to continue co-operation with the EU to maintain this level of assistance. However, as Amendment 24 called for the perpetuation of the Dublin Regulation on a permanent basis, I therefore decided to vote against the amendment.

I hope my response has justified my reasons for not supporting the recent Lords amendments.

Thank you again for taking the time to write to me.

Me - Not sent

Not really, particularly given Boris Johnson's reported four letter response to queries about business' concerns relating to Brexit and the Airbus and BMW announcements, but thank you for your comprehensive response.  What are the odds of you supporting a #peoplesvote?

Brilliant Blogger Award

Annette at 3 Little Buttons invented the Brilliant Blogger Award, an award to celebrate:

"...  all the bloggers out there that make you go ‘WOW, Oooohhhh, and Aaahhhhhh’. It’s for the bloggers that make you feel all warm and fuzzy, the ones that make you read every word they have written, and for the ones that have you snorting out your morning tea with all the giggles."

And awarded it to all the regulars who take part in the Dream Team linky.  Most kind.  Thank you very much Annette. 😀

The Questions

1. Are you a full or part time blogger?

Part-time.  Blogging is fitted around work, family and everything else.  But blogging can be a bit like Japanese Knotweed on occasions.  An invasive species that takes over, is resilient to cutting and has deep roots.  (A friend is in the process of getting rid of the stuff.  My gardening knowledge is pretty non-existent).  It's important to remind myself that the Internet will not vanish or forget me if I don't post for a week.  Or three months. * cough *

2. What’s your favourite thing to blog/vlog about?

There isn't a favourite topic or theme.  It's whatever I'm writing about at the time.

3. What’s the best part of being a blogger?

Blogging is whatever you make of it.  There's no right or wrong way and there's space for everyone to be themselves.  From expressing your love of baking to craft via fashion and the prefect makeup flatly or something slightly scruffier.  The rules are that there are no rules.  Apart from the ones relating to Disclosure, GDPR and ...

I love meeting and connecting with like-minded people from all over the world ... Learning new things ... Creating a memory book of my family ... Occasionally I dream of being the 50 year old Zoella ...But suspect the reality would be too much like hard work.

4. How does blogging make you feel?

It depends.  When it's going well, the ideas are flowing and there are great chats, I love it. When something breaks and either I don't know how to fix it or it takes ages, not so much.  Getting GDPR ready was stressful. 

5. Your stranded on a desert Island with your blogging pals, help is on the way but don’t expect to see the rescue party for at least a week. What will you blog about first!? (Magically, you have unlimited battery and wifi on your phone)

Well, that's a miracle with the unlimited battery and wifi ... Hopefully there will be food, water and shelter as well as I'm no survival expert and suspect my blogging pals aren't either.  I'd like the rescue party to have something to rescue before it all goes a bit Lord of the Flies.  

Blog posts would be about our desert island adventure and how much I miss my family ... Write what you know and what you're living.  Hopefully the desert island is very scenic so we can all cram our Instra feed with #beachvibes. 

My first post

Hello World! Welcome to my blog with a picture of a cup of a coffee and a few sentences introducing my blog to the Internet.  My first proper post, School Gate Babylon, was a few days later.  

My favourite post

They're all my favourites.  If I'm not proud of something or believe in it at the time it was written then why would I press publish?  

That said, there are some posts I look back on and think, "Well, that could have been better phrased.  I sound really chippy ".  Insufferable, middle class know-it all.  Guilty as charged.  Sorry.  Others I read back and wonder who on earth wrote that as it's rather good ... 

But as I have to choose only one, let's make it cheerful so here's 50 Things That Make Me Happy from May 2015.

My Nominations

If you're reading this and have a blog then you are obviously A Brilliant Blogger.  If you would like to be nominated for an award, then please help yourself to the badge and go create after reading the rules below carefully.

The Rules

Because there must be some ...

• Put the award logo/image on your blog.

• List the rules.

• Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.  Which would be me.

• Mention the creator of the award and provide a link to their blog – Annette, 3 Little Buttons. 

• Answer the questions you were asked.

• Pay it forward!  Nominate 5-10 brilliant bloggers and and let them know they are up next.

• Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice. Or copy the ones up there.

• Share a link to your first ever blog post and your favourite one.

Talking of brilliance, which we are ... Wednesday was Rev T's birthday.  All together now, "Happy Birthday Rev T". 

#happybirthday to the most handsome, kindest best husbandy

A post shared by Mrs Tubbs (@mrs_tubbs65) on Jun 19, 2018 at 11:41pm PDT

What's Your Makeup Bag Worth? 2018 Edition

Now I am older, the less I want to look like I'm wearing lots of makeup.  I want to look like myself, but polished and better rather than "done".  If I can get perfectly tousled hair alongside that and an outfit that makes me look like I have life under control, even better.

I've spent a lot of money trying to achieve the "no makeup, makeup look" over the years.  Back in 2015, I calculated how much  my daily face was worth.  It was an mind blowing £145.58.  Which didn't include brushes.  

Since then, I've gone cruelty-free, made a real effort to reduce my beauty spend and simplified my routine.  But has it worked?  Using the minimalist makeup look in my Basic Bobbi post as a template, let's see ...

I'll be using a face primer, concealer(s), base, powder, bronzer, highlighter, blush, a pale matte eye-shadow and a darker, shimmery eye-shadow, eye pencil, brow gel, mascara, lipstick and settling spray.  

Let's see how much this will set us back:

• Prep skin with primer to help makeup stay on longer.  To perk up my skin and give it a bit of a glow, I've used the NYX Professional Makeup Born To Glow Illuminating Primer (£12.50).  

• Concealer gets applied under eyes and anywhere else that's needed to even out the skin and blend.  Word of the post.  Blend.  Seventeen Phwoarr Paint (£2.74) is applied in a big upside down triangle to disguise the dark circles under my eyes.  The red bits on my cheeks get evened out with NYX Professional Makeup Full Coverage Cream Concealer Jar (£6.00) in green.  Any discolouration and blemishes get a coating of Seventeen Miracle Matte Concealer Stick in Fair.  As this has been discontinued, I've assumed it costs the same as the CYO Cover Lover Concealer in Fair (£3.50).

• Follow with a foundation that matches your skin tone.  Mine's Urban Decay's 'All Nighter Full Coverage Longwear' liquid foundation (£26.55) in 1. Heavy but natural looking coverage which lasts all day.  

• I dust MUA Pro Base Prime & Conceal Powder (£3.40) all over my face.  This may not be a face powder, but it does the job.  It won't get replaced, but at least it's being put to good use.

• The matt bronzer from the Sleek MakeUp Face Contour Kit in Fair warms my face when it's applied to where the sun hits or to contour and give a bit of shape.  Blend. I love this.  It's no nonsense and does exactly what I need.  

• Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-hour Blush (£25) in Party, a soft rosy pink gets applied on the apples of my cheeks, blended up towards the hairline, then downwards to soften. Party wakes up my complexion and is effortlessly flattering.  I love Tarte blushes, they're highly pigmented, last all day and never seem to wear out.  This shade is a Sephora exclusive and the half-size I have was a birthday gift freebie.  When we go back, I'll see if I can get a full size.  

• I brush some of the highlighter from the Sleek MakeUp Face Contour Kit  on top of my cheek bones.  And blend.

• I prime my eyes with NYX Professional Makeup Eye Shadow Base - High Definition (£6.00) to make the eyeshadow last longer then apply Urban Decay Eyeshadow (£12.75) in Foxy from the lash-line to the brow bone.  Foxy is a light, cream bisque matte shadow and a great base colour.  I then go in with a  fluffy brush with a darker, shimmery shadow on the lower lid up to the socket line.  Then I blend with a finger so there are no hard edges.  In the picture, I've used Verve, an oyster shimmer (£12.75). The technical term is "one wash wonder".  Urban Decay eyeshadows are my favourites.  Great colour payoff, blend-able and lots of shades.  Never had a duff one.  

• Line upper and lower lash line with a pencil or gel liner.  I've used Pixi's Endless Silky Eye Pen (£12) in Graphic Greige.  I bought this at a Pixi event at my local M&S hosted by Caroline Hirons.  Lovely woman.  Completely wrong about the greatness of goat's cheese.  While I love this, I'm not sure I'll replace it as it's a bit pricey. 

• To set my makeup and help it last longer, I spray my face with with NYX Professional Makeup Setting Spray in Matte Finish/Long Lasting (£7.00). To give it time to dry, I put my jewellery on and apply perfume. I use Sikkim Girls solid perfume from Lush (£9.00).  A warm and exotic floral with jasmine, tuberose and frangipani. When I went cruelty-free, perfume was the hardest thing to replace.  Thank goodness for Lush.

• Then I define my brows with NYX Tinted Brow Mascara (£6.50) in Brunette.  I begin at the start of the brow and work towards the end using soft, feathery strokes. Then I brush a spoolie through to tidy things up.  Followed with Seventeen Doll'd Up Mascara (£3.49) in brown-black.  These are both excellent products and I'm really disappointed that Seventeen no longer exists.  Hopefully CYO will be just as good for basics.  

• Lastly, I apply Lipstick Queen's Bright Natural Saint 10% Pigment (£22.00) straight from the bullet . These are half way between a lipstick and a balm.  Great colour payoff with just the right amount of slip.  I love these and have banned myself from SpaceNK as I don't need any more.  (Want is another discussion entirely!)

Snap, Filter and Ta-da ...!  

Let's add it up * :

NYX Professional Makeup Born To Glow Illuminating Primer - £12.50

Seventeen Phwoarr Paint - £2.74

NYX Professional Makeup Full Coverage Cream Concealer Jar - £6.00

CYO Cover Lover Concealer in Fair - £3.50

Urban Decay's 'All Nighter Full Coverage Longwear liquid foundation - £26.55

Sleek MakeUp Face Contour Kit - £6.99

Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-hour Blush - £12.50 (Half-size)

NYX Professional Makeup Eye Shadow Base - High Definition - £6.00

Urban Decay Eyeshadow - £12.75 x 2 - £25.50

Pixi Endless Silky Eye Pen - £12.00

NYX Professional Makeup Setting Spray in Matte Finish/Long Lasting - £7.00

Sikkim Girls solid perfume - £9.00

NYX Tinted Brow Mascara - £6.50

Seventeen Doll'd Up Mascara - £3.49

Lipstick Queen's Bright Natural Saint 10% Pigment Lipstick - £22.00

A grand total of £162.27 (with perfume) and £153.27 (without)

Slightly more than last time.  Pretty sobering. This isn't even everything!  I have other eyeshadows, lipsticks, lip glosses and blushes.  All acquired piecemeal over the years.  It's definitely a good thing I don't buy everything all at once.

Adding brushes increases the total.  I used Real Techniques Expert Face Makeup Brush (£8.99) for my foundation and Real Techniques Setting Brush (£7.99) for my highlighter.  The Sonia Kashuk brushes I bought on holiday in the US and use for my blush, powder, contour and eyeshadow have been discontinued.  Not surprising as a few of them are over 15 years old.  Sonia Kashuk™ Essential Collection Complete Makeup Brush Set has pretty much everything I'd need and costs $40.00 (£28.53).  Other people buy postcards and knickknacks on holiday.  I buy makeup brushes instead.  Kashuk's brushes are fabulous.

How much are the contents of your makeup bag worth?  

* Prices checked on Tarte Cosmetics, Marks & Spencer, Debenhams, Lush, SpaceNK, Boots, Target and Superdrug on 2 April 2018 and include offers / discounts.  It took me another two months to get the photos together.  

Please congratulate Mufasa for another appearance on #Shankyoupets with Lola and Heather:

Lola decided to dedicate this week’s #ShankYouPets to the cats - they were in fine form this week! One of them MAY be a murderer, but she lawyered up before we could question her. #ShankYouPets #englishbulldog #dog #puppy #cute #pet #pets #petstagram #photooftheday #dogs #cat #dogsofinstagram #cats #instagramdogs #dogoftheday #adorable #doglover #catsofinstagram #fish #cow #chicken #petsofinstagram #animal #animals #cutepets #cutenessoverload #furbaby #kitten #squishy

A post shared by Heather Keet (@shankyouheather) on Jun 17, 2018 at 5:17pm PDT

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Happy Father's Day

"Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father." - President Barack Obama

Whatever you're doing today, or however you feel about Father's Day, I hope you're having a good one and all is well with and yours.

The Simple, Minimalist Makeup Bag

While I was decluttering my makeup stash a while ago, I thought about how I used make-up as that helps me avoid over-buying.  Although that pile of lipsticks may not give that impression.   I realise that being able to have enough to think about having to declutter in the first place is an enormous privilege.  

These are the items I believe are really useful for any makeup bag.  You really don't need much as it takes ages to use up makeup.  Ages.  One 30ml bottle of foundation lasts most people about 5 months.  If you've own 5 foundations, you don't need any more for at least 2 years.  Provided it doesn't go icky and separate before then. 

• Primers. Helps makeup last longer, stops your face getting too oily, illuminates and smooths the skin.  I use one for my face and one for my eyes.  

• Base.  A foundation, a BB cream or tinted moisturiser to even out the skin.  

• Concealer.  To cover dark circles under the eyes, spots or pigmentation.  

• Powder. Sets makeup and helps keep shine away.

• Blush. One or two quick swipes add colour, definition and sheen to the skin.  If it comes in a set with a bronzer and highlighter, even better.  Something natural looking for day-time and maybe something a little brighter for going out.  

• Eyeshadow.  Either a do-it-all palette or collection of singles.  What you need depends on whether you do single shadow, one wash wonders or more elaborate looks. 

• Eyeliner pencil.  Lining the eyes right into the lash line then smudging helps eyes to stand out. I find these easier to use than liquid liner, but YMMV.

• Mascara. Lots of it.  Gives eyelashes curl and volume without clumping if you choose right. Makes you look like a panda after five minutes if you don't.  

• Brow product.  Fills in brows and keeps them in place all day.  You may not need this, but I do.

• Everyday lipstick.  A moisturising lip colour or a tinted balm in a "my lips but better" shade plus something louder for evenings.

I deliberately haven't specified products as this depends on your budget, but I encourage you to choose cruelty-free.

My makeup bag is a mix of high-end and drug store.  Like most teenagers back then, I started inexpensive, learned what works and developed some skills.  Buying my first piece of high-end, department store make-up was A Big Deal.  I still remember it.

Chanel's Les Naturals eye-shadow quartet.  Pink, White, Grey and Brown IIRC.  I used almost every scrap and cried when I broke it by dropping it on the bathroom floor.  There's something rather sad about 14 year olds with a fistful of UD Naked palettes or similar.  Where do you go from there?

Next week there's a post where I look at what I actually spend.  Opposed to what I think I spend.  The results may surprise you.  (They certainly surprised me!)

What would you put in an everyday make-up bag?

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Nice

According to the Oxford Dictionary, nice is an adjective and means "Giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive."  For a person, it means "good-natured; kind".  

Nice is one of those qualities that isn't as valued as much it should be.  We want our days to be spectacular.  Our friends to be funny and clever.  Just like we are.  Describing something as "nice" is a bit of a back-handed compliment.  Nothing special ... Just "nice".  A word for when something is good, but there's nothing better to say about it.  That isn't quite essential.  

Unless it's absent. Then we notice.  People who aren't very nice may be good company, but they don't really make good friends.  Eventually you notice their lack of niceness.  You list their good qualities  - which may be many - and follow that with ... "But they're not very nice ..."  And pull a face.

Around this time of year, people start talking about blog events they've been too.  I went to BML a few years ago, and it wasn't quite me.  Too big, too busy and too much about blogging for profit rather than fun.  I'm also not great at meeting new people as I'm actually quite shy.  I'm also a terrible over-thinker and worry about whether I'm saying or doing the wrong thing or being a bit try hard ...

But I always try to be nice.  To put people at their ease, make them feel valued and welcomed. (We're teaching the Tubblet the same.  Start from nice, then go from there depending on what you get back). It is, as the old saying goes, nice to be nice.  Tim over at Slouching Towards Thatham has a great post about BlogOn.  Which sounds a bit less in my face.  So I'm considering it.  

And the basset hound?  We found him in a vintage shop when we were looking for gifts to take the US.  Our cousin L loves bassets and, when we found him, he got the full Louis Balfour treatment, "Niiice".  But sadly, not practical.  Too big and fragile to transport.  So I took a picture to remember him by and left him to find a more suitable home.

And if there are any fellow Fast Show fans out there ...

Mufasa has proud to have made yet another appearance in #shankyoupets.  Check him and the other winners out ...

This week’s #shankyoupets feature is here! We’ve got a cat, a bird, and a dog this week - luckily, no one is being eaten or chased! #englishbulldog #dog #puppy #cute #pet #pets #petstagram #photooftheday #dogs #cat #dogsofinstagram #cats #instagramdogs #dogoftheday #adorable #doglover #catsofinstagram #fish #cow #chicken #petsofinstagram #animal #animals #cutepets #cutenessoverload #furbaby #kitten #squishy

A post shared by Heather Keet (@shankyouheather) on Jun 3, 2018 at 10:56am PDT

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The View From the Sky Garden, London

Some of our US family visited the UK a while ago.  We all met up in Central London for breakfast before going on an epic wander.  (Two days of steps in a day!)  It was a lovely time full of good things and laughter I'm happy to be able share with you.  I'm thankful that our flights to see them later this year are booked and that the miles don't really matter. 

These photos were taken at the Sky Garden on Fenchurch Street, at the top of the Walkie Talkie, right in the heart of the City. It's London's highest green space, made up of landscaped South African and Mediterranean plants, observation decks, an open-air terrace, two restaurants and a bar. (As it's 35 floors up, let's pray the lifts don't ever break).  

Entry is free, but visitors must book their 1 hour time-slot in advance on the website.  And turn up on time as tickets are only valid for the date and time stated on them. 

[ETA:  The website is a bit confusing, but they appear to release a block of tickets each week a month in advance. Daily walk-ins are available for selected times.  Having seen the queues outside, I wouldn't chance it during the tourist season]

Well worth a visit for the stunning views if you're in the area. 

Perched at the top of the City, looking down on the people and buildings below.  Spotting places to visit when we've a little more time.  (Our US family have never seen the Tower.  We am officially failures as Londoners).  

The Barbican Conservatory, with exotic fish and over 2,000 species of plants, is similar to the Sky Garden.  I haven't been there for years, but may try and get there this Summer.  As it's only open on Sunday's and Bank Holidays, this could be a challenge.

If you're coming to London in the summer holidays - now closer than we all probably think - Upgraded Points has The Ultimate Guide to London.  While this may be over-stating things slightly, it does stray out of the city and away from the obvious into Sarf London.  Which is a very good thing.

As mentioned previously, we went to the DC Dawn of the Superheroes Exhibition at the O2 over half-term and there's a review - including photos - over at Mother Geek.  Thank you Tina for the hospitality.

More photos and commentary coming here next month.  Because summer is coming and there are days to fill ...


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[This is a collaborative post in association with Ultimate Points].

#BeatPlasticPollution for #WorldEnvironmentDay

One David Attenborough documentary probably did more to raise people's awareness of the impact of plastic pollution than years of campaigns.  Suddenly we're all eco-warriors.  Making small changes to our everyday habits to reduce our usage of single use plastic items by replacing them with reusable ones.  As there is no Planet B, this is a good thing.

Help keep the momentum going and join in a global game of tag by sharing photos of them to help #BeatPlasticPollution for #WorldEnvironmentDay 

The Rules

So, let's play!  Like all games, this one has some very simple rules:

• Take a photo of between 1- 3 reusable items that you have switched to help tackle plastic pollution.

• Caption your photo with a short message to raise awareness

• Include your top tip for beating plastic pollution.

• Share your photo and caption, along with your top tip, tagging at least three other people.

• Use the hashtags #BeatPlasticPollution and #WorldEnvironmentDay in your post(s).

• Link back to the person who tagged you in your blog post and tag them on social media.

My Top Tip 

If you regularly buy take-out coffee, buy a reusable coffee cup.  As well as helping the environment, it gets you a discount / extra stamps on your loyalty card.  I've got a KeepCup in my desk drawer, and a collapsible Stojo in my handbag so I'm always prepared.  You never know when that coffee urge will strike!

If you're like me, one change leads to others ... Instead of purchasing bottled water, a reusable bottle ... Bamboo cutlery instead of plastic cutlery ... 

Thank you Clare over at FreddiesMummy for tagging me.  I'm passing the tag onto:

Kirsty - Navigating Baby 

Victoria - The Growing Mum

Helen - The Queen of Collage

Thank you all for agreeing to take part and happy tagging!   

Bad First Dates

I've shared relationship advice, (cheap) date ideas but not actual, real life dating stories.  The idea didn't occur to me until I got into twitter conversation with Rachel from Our Rach Blogs about terrible first dates:

@ourrachblogs "You're on a first date. Everything is going amazingly. Better than you could've imagined. You get on to the subject of comedy's & they reveal Mrs Brown's Boys is their favourite.  The devastation is palpable but remember it's better to be single. ... They could tick all the boxes but you'll never be able to forgive the Mrs Brown's Boys revelation & that's ok. I get it."

@mrs_tubbs: "When one first date took me to KFC for “a lovely meal out” I knew we were done.  Compared to you I got off lightly "  There weren't enough characters for the rest of the story ... After we'd eaten, we went to the cinema.  By the time the film finished, the last train had left.  We walked back to station to pick up a taxi.  The cab company was closed for the night, but the rank was open.  After 10 minutes, my date announced he was bored waiting, could walk home and left after wishing me luck.  As it was super late, the taxi driver wasn't thrilled about taking my fare but agreed after the couple who behind me in the queue pointed out that he'd lose his licence if he didn't take me as I was on my own.  I have no idea if that's was true but it worked and I got home safely ...  There was no Date Two.

@BillyJones00 disagreed: "KFC is an incredible place for a date, Large zinger meal with supercharged sauce is one of the most romantic meals out there".  We agreed to differ.  Proof you can have civilised disagreements on twitter.  

@annemariewyley won though, with: "How about an all you can eat Mexican buffet for a fiver. And he wasn't doing the buying."  Classy!

After that, a post about bad dating experiences seemed like a no brainer.

Once was enough ...

Sophie (Soph-Opressed): "Was invited out for dinner but didn't realise it was at his house which was in turn his mum's house! She cooked us fish fingers which were still frozen in the middle. Afterwards his mum made us 'cocktails' but the glass was filthy and there was floaty bits in it. He then said his dad would take us into town but I didn't realise by us he meant his mum and dad also. It was the weirdest, most uncomfortable date of my life!"

Sinead (Sinead Latham): "I had a blind date in the very early days of online dating.  He was telling me about his work and I suddenly twigged he worked with one of my best friends.  Whilst a lovely person, he was as dull as dishwater and after an hour of listening to his love of trains I made a swift exit.  I told my friend what happened and he informed me that his mate thought it went ever so well.  Over the years social gatherings have had to be carefully planned. As never the Twain shall meet".

Kelly (Day Dreams of  Mum): "Went on the BEST date with a guy. Took me for champagne afternoon tea , Was Ridiculously charming. Ended the date with 'I'm married that's not a problem is it"......yes , yes it is".  


Jen (Just Average Jen): "When I was at university I got chatting to a bloke in a pizza shop then went home with my mates as normal. The following day I had no recollection of him and all my friends could remember was what pizza he ordered and the colour of his hair so not helpful. He sent me a massive bouquet of flowers and his phone number. I phoned to thank him and he asked me on a date to the cinema. As soon as he arrived and I got in the taxi I realised we had nothing in common and didn't fancy him at all. Was a very awkward date as the card with the flowers didn't have his name on so I hadn't a clue who I was with as felt awkward saying I had no memory of the pizza shop. There was no second date I only found his name out when he text to thank me for a nice night and ask me out again."


Carla-Marie (My Bump 2 Baby): "I was invited to dinner by a so-called "Burnley footballer" - at 18 years old being a wag seemed my ideal occupation. I dressed up to the nines, walked in to the front room to say bye to my dad... a car pulled up and dad asked where I was off to? I told him I was off out with the footballer and told him his name.. he replied "don't think so love" I was confused... he added "that's him playing now and pointed to the Burnley game on tv"... I headed out anyway because I was bloody starving and just let him talk about his footy career as I stuffed my face and let him pay. 

It wasn't half as embarrasing for me as it was for him when when I got out the car and asked him the question "how do you do it?" "Do what?" he replied... "be in two places at once?" I responded, "whilst we were eating you were also playing football on TV?" He was all red faced, apologised and said he was really a fireman and showed me his badge - I mean why would you lie about being a footballer when you are a hero fireman? Still baffles me".


Laura (Five Little Doves): "Aged 17 I had a first date with an older guy who I was desperate to impress. He took me for a lovely meal and it was all going well until we got back outside to his car and 8 of my friends had taken it upon themselves to come and cover his entire car with shaving foam and then write "rude" (and massively childish!!) words all over it! Safe to say I never had a second date!!"  [Note to self, never annoy Laura].


Zoe (Lycawidow): "Many years ago I travelled down to London to meet someone I’d been chatting to for a few months on a dating site. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was going to be disastrous. He managed to look scruffy in a suit! Sure enough we went for dinner and he told the waiter “she will be drinking white wine as that’s what ladies do” the waiter was French so I switched to French and asked the waiter to recommend the best Vin Rouge to go with my meal. Mr disaster told me he hoped if ordered the most expensive wine because I would be paying for it myself seeing as I wasn’t gracious enough to accept his recommendation. 

I got half way through my meal, told said date I was going to the ladies room, grabbed the bottle of wine and jumped on the last train home!"


Justine (Lil Jem and Baby E): "I went on a date during my Uni years, and tried to strike up conversation: 

Studying? - No, he didn't want to talk about education.  
Work? - Hated work, didn't want to talk about it.  
Hobbies? - Didn't have any so nothing to say.  
Holidays? - Hadn't been on any, wasn't due to go on any.
Family and pets? - Wasn't interested in talking about them.

In the end I text a friend to come and get me. I turned the guy down who asked for a second date, and then got told I was "stuck-up" for not wanting to take it any further. Nah mate, but I like a conversation!"


Geraldine (It's Me & Ethan): "I once when out on a date with a guy who kept covering his mouth every time he spoke.  I had had enough and asked him was that a habit.  He replied "was what a habit ?" while covering his mouth again.  I pointed at his hand.  "That" I laughed, thinking maybe the dude was nervous or something.  "This I mean" as I demonstrated exactly what he was doing.  He was embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders while nodding.  I didn't know what to say only "stop covering your mouth , just talk and I'll listen".  "Okay" he smiled.  Teeth like the back of a hammer ...

Bless him he was a nice guy but I could see why he was covering his mouth   I then said my initial thoughts out loud: "why don't you get to a dentist ?" and sure that was the end of that.  Yes I'm the ass in this story".

But if it's meant to be ...

A bad first date doesn't matter at all:

Jade (Mummies Waiting): My (now husband) invited me out for dinner, we went to Pizza Hut, he brought his son and best friend with him. Half way though the meal his son needed his nappy changing, so he asked me to do it! (He didn’t think he would have access to a changing table).  At the end of the meal he paid for himself, his son and his best friend and I paid for myself.  It was the strangest first date and I wind him up about it now and he comes back with the fact ‘I ate all the sharing cookie’ (I didn’t!)

Kayleigh (Inspire Gratitude and Manifest): "Not quite a horror story but one im always reminded of and it makes me cringe every time! 

I’ve not really had many dates. One I had was from meeting a guy online. We met at the cinema to see a film which was fine. Afterwards, he asked me if I wanted to get food so just went to a kebab shop. We walked around talking for a bit but I was noticing my tights falling down and of course to make a good impression I was wearing massive hold it all in pants. It got to a point where I just had to stop and say I’m really sorry about this, whipped up my dress to sort everything out. 

To make matters even better when we said goodbye I gave him a double thumbs up. He looked at me like I was a right nutter and I was mortified thinking well that went really well... "

However, five years later we are actually still together and expecting a baby so perhaps my flashing massive pants and a double thumbs up was the way to go."

Emma (Island Living 365): "My first date with my husband was awful. I had recently had my tongue pierced and at our meal I rather stupidly ordered risotto. The risotto then got stuck on my tongue piercing and I spent the majority of the meal pulling strange faces behind my hand as I tried to get the risotto off. I then managed to get it off but it somehow flew out of my mouth, narrowly missing him and hitting the wall behind him. On top of that I insisted on paying for my half, refused to accept his offer of paying for it and then realised that I had left my purse on my office desk ... it was the worst date of my life and I'm still not how we ended up getting married ".

Thank you everyone who shared stories.  Unfortunately I couldn't use them all.

In case you were wondering ...

Our first date was drinks and a meal in Convent Garden.  Followed by a walk around and a go on the sadly now gone Carousel.  We had such a good time we went out again a few days later ...

Stay safe

Whether it's the first date or the fifth, Staying safe and protecting yourself is really important.  Meet somewhere public and tell someone where you are going.  Don't feel pressured to go back to theirs or invite them back to yours. Don't feel bad if it's not going well and you just want to go home. There's lots of other advice on Get Safe Online.  (Not a collaborative post at all, just seemed sensible to mention this aspect of dating under the circumstances!!!)

Any bad date stories to share?

Hope you all endured enjoyed half-term.  We did a few family things, went to the DC Dawn of Super Heroes Exhibition and saw Solo at the cinema.  Rev T is safely back from Atlanta and had a wonderful time.  He has gifted me 3 - yes 3! - guest posts that I'll share in September.  I can feel the Blogosphere winding down for summer.

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