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Family Life, the Universe and Everything with a Latte on the Side

Being a Foster Carer

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Wishing Tree


Today I've asked our friends, C and C *, to share their experiences of fostering. C and C are an amazing couple, with three lovely children of various ages. They are the busiest people we know. Over to them:

"Fostering wasn't something we'd ever thought much about, but the idea came up.  The more we discussed it and pushed doors, the more we thought it was something our family could do. We're a close family, so we discussed it with the children first.  They all seemed keen on the idea.  We knew the reality of having a new child in our home wouldn't be without difficulties, but we decided to explore further.

We contacted our local authority to tentatively inquire about what what we'd be taking on.  They provided good training and tried to prepare us as much as possible.  There is only so much you can do in advance to prepare.  Each child is different.  A different story and needs.

The whole family needs to be on board or it won't be a success. It's important to have a close network of support around you.  You will need it! Fostering isn't for the faint-hearted. It's hard, stressful work. You will be a voice in meetings and work closely with professionals.

As Christians we believed God would send us the child who needs us. We saw God answer our prayers and count it a privilege to have been able to play a part in a child's life when they needed a safe place.

Our foster placements so far have ranged from a new born to a primary age boy, two toddler brothers and an emergency placement. We will never forget the children who come into our home and are placed into our care. They will forever have a place in out hearts.  Their smiling faces still shine from the photos on display in our home.  We continue to keep in touch with many of them.

Local authorities are always looking to recruit new carers. Foster carers can be any age, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or relationship status. You don't need to fit a particular mould, but you do need a spare room.  The children come from many different backgrounds.  There is a high demand for foster carers who can provide a home for sibling groups or teenagers.  Respite carers for disabled children and long-term placements for children too old for adoption are also needed.

If you are thinking of fostering, I would read as much info as you can. We found 'A Home For Good' by Krish Kandiah a great help. Talk to people who foster and read up on attachment problems and therapeutic parenting.

Children in care are the most vulnerable people in society. A child comes into care every 22 seconds in UK. In the UK, 4,000 children are waiting for adoption and 9,000 foster families are desperately needed.

It's the hardest thing we have done as a family but also the most rewarding. Psalm 68:6 says, "You find families for those who are lonely." (CEV)"

Thank you C and C for allowing me to share your story here.  They've very kindly agreed to come back in a few weeks to try and answer any questions about fostering you may have.  So please ask away in the comments.


* They've asked to remain anonymous so those are all the details I can share.  Thanks for your understanding.

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Posted by Tubbs

27 comments

  1. aleenaribena6 April 2017 at 19:53

    I love this. I was foster cared myself as a child, along with my baby brother. I have always said that I would love to do the same one day for others, it's just such a shame that we can't currently stretch to that extra bedroom! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Tubbs7 April 2017 at 09:46

      We thought about it, but having spoken to our friends, I'm not convinced we have what it takes. They're amazing and what they do is just incredible. Hopefully one day you'll be in a position to do it. Thank you for commenting as well. I'm so glad you liked the post

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  2. Chicky Kadambari7 April 2017 at 09:17

    I'm planning to apply for adoption soon. (Hopefully, right after the A to Z!) And, just like in fostering, it's best if you read up all you can about adoption too.
    In India, we have some restrictions on adoption. Luckily for me, the rules are more relaxed for females. I'll apply for a baby, but as you said, God knows best. He'll deliver the perfect child to me.
    Do stop by some time on my blog.
    Happy AtoZing! :)
    Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com

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    1. Tubbs7 April 2017 at 09:50

      Good luck and thank you for commenting

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  3. Meg7 April 2017 at 11:37

    This is lovely. I have friends who foster and I am full of admiration for them.

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:22

      Thank you. I've seen so few posts about fostering, it seemed a shame as it's such a valuable job and makes such a difference.

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  4. Louisa7 April 2017 at 13:51

    I always admire anyone with the commitment to foster. My sons grandparents were foster carers and it has been incredibly hard. Some of their charges were just too damaged and the problems they caused the entire family have been far reaching. However, 2 of their charges in particular have thrived and remained in the family home as they reached adulthood and are very much part of the family now. #pocolo

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:23

      It's an amazingly hard job and I admire anyone who feels able to take it on.

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  5. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons7 April 2017 at 19:31

    I'm full of admiration for foster parents. I think it can be a really underrated role, but so much needed. I had a friend who had to go into foster care during school when she was a teenager and she was really lucky to find a family who she's still very close with. Thanks for sharing this with us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:23

      I'm so glad your friend found the right family and is still close too them. Thank you for sharing :)

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  6. Cheryl7 April 2017 at 19:35

    I love the sign at the top of your post. What a lovely welcome it would be. I think all foster carers and their families are amazing.#PoCoLo

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:24

      I spotted it in Sainsburys and it gave me the idea to ask C and C if they'd be willing to do a post on fostering. So random, but it does prove that ideas turn up in the most unexpected places!

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  7. Stephanie 139a7 April 2017 at 21:24

    I'm full of admiration for people that foster, and how strong they seem to be and how the whole family flourishes. Great to read of your friends experiences, and it must be hard initially to remember that every child is different. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:25

      All the children they've cared for have been different and it's been amazing to see them change over the course of the placement. Thank you for hosting

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  8. Kim Carberry8 April 2017 at 11:48

    Years ago my parents used to be foster carers. They had so many kids over the years and it was great to see how much my parents helped them.
    #PoCoLo

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:26

      Thank you for sharing :) It's been great to see how C and C have helped the children in their care too.

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  9. Unknown10 April 2017 at 07:26

    What an amazing job C and C do. Soooo needed. It's so sad to see the number of children in need (and that's just the UK). Thanks for sharing with us at #FanFridayPost

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    1. Tubbs11 April 2017 at 09:27

      I'd not heard those statistics until C shared them. You're right, it is so sad :( Behind each one of them is a child

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  10. Unknown11 April 2017 at 15:30

    I have so much respect and admiration for people who foster. I absolutely agree are very vulnerable and they need the support, love and guidance foster families can provide to them. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

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    1. Tubbs12 April 2017 at 10:48

      Pleasure! Thank you for hosting each week

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  11. Mrs Mummy Harris11 April 2017 at 18:56

    I have so much respect for foster families, my SIL was fostered and they became a second family to her and supported her like her first family should have. Thank you for letting them share their story here #PoCoLo

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    1. Tubbs12 April 2017 at 10:49

      I'm so glad your SIL found the family she needed and thank you for sharing her story with us

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  12. Mummy in a Tutu12 April 2017 at 20:12

    what an amazing story and what amazing people for doing what they do. Thank you for sharing xx
    thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Tubbs18 April 2017 at 09:50

      They are amazing and I was so pleased when they agreed to this :) Thank you for the lovely comment and for hosting each week

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  13. Michelle Goodwin12 April 2017 at 21:01

    What a fantastic and positive story. I admire anyone who opens their home to others to help #stayclassymama

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    1. Tubbs18 April 2017 at 09:50

      I do too. It's such hard work even though it's very rewarding

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  14. Morgan Prince25 April 2017 at 16:00

    I think it's a lovely thing to do if you can. I remember my parents being foster carers when I was growing up and we took in a small baby. I don't remember much about it because I was very young. :)
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo

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