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Someplace Strange

Family Life, the Universe and Everything with a Latte on the Side

If I Had a Book Deal ...

Monday, 20 March 2017


Coffee and Cake

Sings whilst dancing, 

"If I were a big blogger,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a big, big blogger ..."

And that's quite enough.  Like all bloggers, deep in my heart lurks a fantasy about making it big in the blogging world.  Like most fantasies, it focuses on the biddy, biddy, bum rather than the actual details about making it big.  Like work, talent and luck.

Publishers are offering book deals to any blogger with a large enough audience to potentially shift lots of units.  A few of the choices seem a little odd to me.  Not because they're not good at what they do or aren't hard-working, but because most of the book deals are for non-fiction. Non-fiction books are written by experts in their field.  Some bloggers don't seem very expert-y.

It's difficult to take someone seriously when they claim to have a deep love for a subject and a desire to share, but lack qualifications or training.  Or offer advice without much experience or first hand knowledge.  Or present themselves as relate-able while living a life in parts of the country that aren't even aspirational for most people.

Obviously, I haven't had enough of experts.  Is this just me?  I do love a good celeb book though.

My sister bought me Gok's Chinese cookery book for Christmas a few years back.  It's now splattered with soy sauce and oil. (Messy cook!).  Gok has been around kitchens since he was a tot.  I take him seriously in a way I don't other celebs offering similar content.

I'm not sure there is a single thing I know enough about to be considered an expert or turn into a book containing unique insights.  But let's not worry about that.  I'm a Very Important Blogger (VIB) with an imaginary book to write to an equally imaginary deadline that needs to be about something ...

Pondering my strengths and weaknesses, areas of knowledge and life experience, I came up with a grand total of nothing.

"Researching in Financial Services" sounds like an aid to restful sleep.  "I married a vicar" has limited appeal.  I love cooking, beauty, clothes and interiors, but not enough to fill a book. Maybe I'll suggest a collection of  "The Best of Someplace Strange" with some "exclusive new material".  That'll do.

What kind of book would you write if you were offered a book deal?  Let me know in the comments. Maybe a publisher will find this post and commission it from you.

I'm not the only one with superstar blogger related fantasies as A Single Mother Speaks proves. Phew!
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Posted by Tubbs

65 comments

  1. jeremy@thirstydaddy20 March 2017 at 11:53

    I know a little bit about loads of things, but not a lot about anything in particular. Instead of calling myself unqualified to write a book, I'll just say that I'm "well rounded." I used to fancy that I could write a pretty solid "what not to do while dating" book...#mg

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:53

      Well rounded is a great way to describe it. Another one is "all rounder". If you do write that what not to do while dating book, I have some great stories to share.

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  2. Barrie Bismark20 March 2017 at 16:40

    Hmmmm....I would write about all my parenting fails!
    #globalblogging

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:53

      If you need some additional stories, I have loads!

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  3. Anonymous20 March 2017 at 16:59

    I share your dreams, book deals, business lunches and celebratory fame. Alas I lack the knowledge ir experience to gain a mass xult following. Nothing majorly dramatic has happened that I can write about, I am not married to someone rich enough to help me on my way - bitter? Surely not! I'd love to write a sci fi cult classic..but my fiction writing is questionable!haha #GlobalBlogging pam from www.pamsbakeandbabyblog.com

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 14:05

      Damn reality. Wreaking our dreams!

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  4. Laura Dove20 March 2017 at 21:57

    I have always said I want to publish my first book before 40, I have three years to make it!! #mg

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:54

      Good luck! Let me know when it's out

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  5. My Petit Canard20 March 2017 at 23:27

    I could never write a book for exactly this reason, I dont have any expertise, nor do I write anything that would be remotely interesting to hundreds of thousands. It seems you either need to be witty, self depreciating or an expert in something, all of which I am neither unfortunately ;-) Emily

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:55

      Glad it's not only me. Thank you for hosting each week :)

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  6. Michele Morin21 March 2017 at 11:40

    Smiling . . . You sing a great Tevye!

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:56

      Thank you. I think Craig would complain about my hands looking like paddles, tell me my hip action needs work and my feet were all wrong. (Darling!)

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  7. Nicky Kentisbeer21 March 2017 at 12:11

    Well they say everyone has a book in them Nicola! I think you have a plethora of subjects that you could touch on. We've been talking about this recently, funnily enough. My husband was saying that I must have loads of books going on in my head, yet I'm not sure I do? Maybe these things come calling when it's our time - who knows. And I've just realised - Mrs Tubbs? You have changed your blog name? I have tried to add you to twitter but the link fails from your blog. Can you send me a Twitter DM and I can add you to our list. Thanks for linking to #TweensTeensBeyond Nicky

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:57

      I'm not sure I have enough discipline to write that many words on the same subject!

      Blog name unchanged and twitter link worked when I checked it - thank goodness as I have no idea how to fix it!. DM sent :)

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  8. UKYankee21 March 2017 at 14:07

    I am always suspicious of these self-proclaimed experts! I like that you keep your blog real! :-)
    #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:57

      I try. There's no point in faking it online. The real you always appears eventually

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  9. Anonymous21 March 2017 at 21:31

    Hmm I'm 70,000 words through a female genre style book but haven't touched it for over two years! It's probably the only book I'll ever try and write - I love blogging too much. Interesting thoughts though! #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:57

      Good luck with getting it finished and off to the publishers!

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  10. Unknown21 March 2017 at 21:44

    I think alot of us harbour that dream but I agree with you - the self proclaimed expert is the most irresponsible and dangerous and publishers have that responsibility as well. There is the case of people being sued, including big publishers because the facts have shown to be false! And social media numbers do not make you an expert. You could just be selling your fans a very dangerous dream. #bigpinklink

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:58

      Totally agree. Having peeked inside some of those books, I seriously wonder how they got away with it! (No names, no pack drill)

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  11. Mrs Mummy Harris22 March 2017 at 07:55

    I tried to write an autobiography when i was 25 and im sure if i still had a copy now it was full of teen angst. Definitely an expert in that field haha #marvmondays

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 13:59

      My friend and I used to write bad fiction. I'm glad we burnt it as I'm sure it's even more terrible than I remember

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  12. Sharon22 March 2017 at 10:35

    This is so true and applies to me in a big way!! It sounds like you've got quite a bit to write about to me - go for it! I have written a middle grade magic realism novel and been rejected by loads of publishers. I got as far as them asking for the whole manuscript so that gave me some hope. I would love to write about midlife - I'd be thrilled to be offered a book deal but I can't see it happening any time soon! I do have a PhD in epidemiology and I have published a scientific book but I'm not sure that counts. It certainly wasn't very glamorous! Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond. Loved your post.

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 14:00

      It counts! It counts! And is really impressive. (I did have to look up epidemiology though. Just to make sure it was what I thought it was)

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  13. Unknown22 March 2017 at 11:00

    I used to write short stories as a child so i would love to have the opportunity to publish some of those for sentimental reasons! It must be really exciting to see your own book published and it would be a really interesting process too :)

    #sharewithme

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 14:01

      You've still got them? How lovely. Most of my childhood stuff is long gone.

      I'm sure it is really interesting, but I get the impression from friends who've done it that it's alot of work

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  14. Laurie22 March 2017 at 12:00

    I want to write a book - I'd love a book deal. I'd write one to invite people to 'Stop Pretending' and really live up to their full potential. #sharewithme

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 14:02

      I'm sure there's a market for that. Good luck in getting it together :)

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  15. Unknown22 March 2017 at 12:26

    My book on parenting would be "How to get your baby to sleep through the night...and other pointless advice that will NEVER happen..." I have actually written a novel, years ago, and keep thinking I must go back to it and try to get it published...#bestandworst

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    1. Tubbs22 March 2017 at 14:19

      So true! We read all those baby books avidly and most of them have some good bits and a lot of what the what?! Good luck with revisiting your novel and getting it published

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  16. Susie /S.H.I.T.22 March 2017 at 21:53

    We're all just hoping that book deal will come along aren't we? But you're right, what are we experts on...parenting, not really - just bumbling along like everyone else and happen to be blogging about it. Maybe angry parenting - I'm very good at that! #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:04

      Oh yes, I think we've all got some great angry parenting stories!

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  17. The Queen of Collage23 March 2017 at 11:58

    Having read about Gok and other celebs I can certainly understand your feelings. If I were to write a book it would combine my hobbies. #mg

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:04

      You could do a great craft book :)

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    2. The Queen of Collage26 March 2017 at 11:11

      Awwww thank you. Sometimes I feel just writing our blogs is a bit like writing a book. #bestandworst

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  18. Jo - Mother of Teenagers23 March 2017 at 12:15

    I must buck the trend as I have an English degree, spent most of my career writing and still enjoy it now through blogging, but have zero desire to write a book. I have very dear friends from University who are really talented and have tried and failed many times to get a creative work published yet those experts I know that can write a textbook on such boring but worthwhile subjects as tax or pensions have book deals being thrown at them left right and centre. But in my humble opinion a popular blogger does not a great writer make or maybe there is a new 21st century trend emerging. So glad you joined us and hope to see you again. #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:05

      I've a few friends with book deals and they've had to hustle really hard for them. It's really hard to break into

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  19. Meg23 March 2017 at 15:32

    Glad I'm not the only one dreaming ;)

    I'd use a book deal to write more deeply about surviving the early years ... being as brutally honest as possible.

    I actually wrote a book last year (fiction) but I'm too scared to do anything with it! And I highly doubt anyone is lining up to offer me a deal for it ;) #sharewithme

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:06

      Who knows if you don't try ... Maybe get a trusted friend to read it and see what they say

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  20. ohmummymia23 March 2017 at 21:28

    I would write about...hmmm oh I know "How to deal with motherhood in foreign country". Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:06

      That could be interesting! I'm sure there are loads of people in the same situation who'd appreciate the help :)

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  21. Claire | Life Love & Dirty Dishes24 March 2017 at 08:13

    I could write a great advice book on how NOT to do things! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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    1. Tubbs24 March 2017 at 13:06

      That definitely seems the most popular idea so far!

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  22. Island Living 36524 March 2017 at 16:44

    I am totally going to write a book! It's going to be a warts and all book about the seedy underbelly of Jersey. All those WI ladies stealing scone recipes from the neighbouring parish ;-) #FridayFrolics

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:14

      Well I'm shocked at such goings on! Who'd have thought it ... No wait ;) Good luck!

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  23. Turning Up In Devon24 March 2017 at 16:57

    I'm totally doing what Island Living is doing and trying to expose the seedy underbelly of Devon and all those horror PTFA meetings!!! Apart from I'm already doing that in my blog and apparently only about 30% of a book can contain pre published blog post content!! How about writing fiction? #fridayfrolics

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:15

      You mean I'd actually have to work for the money and not just recycle old content?! Outrage! ;)

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  24. Anonymous25 March 2017 at 23:54

    I'm not sure I could ever write a book, I really not an expert in any field and I'd hate to have attempt to blag it. I think I'll just stick to reading books instead. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:16

      That's my thinking as well. There's no point blagging it as you always get found out eventually

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  25. Unknown26 March 2017 at 10:22

    My colleague wants me to help her write a book for the specialist area we work in! Complex! lol. Hope you get a chance one day and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:33

      I think you have more chance than I have! Good luck if you do decide to do it.

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  26. Anonymous26 March 2017 at 12:03

    I have written books, but does it count if I have never even tried to publish them? Fiction is my love, I don't have a desire to write a book as an expert of anything. I am not even sure I am an expert on me and I have studied that for 40 years. For me blogging is about being real, thinking aloud and reflecting on my own thoughts. If that helps anyone along the way then I am so happy that I blog. But for me if I was to ever even show anyone my book it would be totally fictional. #mg

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:33

      I don't know what I'd do, but it's nice to dream isn't it?! If you've written things, it would be good to do something with them. You never know.

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  27. Wendy26 March 2017 at 19:28

    I would love to write a book one day but whether I will do it is debatable. Definitely am not an expert in anything so it would have to be fiction..just need to come up with that big money idea now and learn how to write fiction haha xx #mg

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    1. Tubbs27 March 2017 at 09:35

      Rev T and I figured if we could come up with a product that appealed to some parenting problem / solved something parents felt guilty about it, we'd be made. But knowing the market isn't the same as finding a product! Darn it!

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  28. Mummascribbles27 March 2017 at 11:20

    I would never want to write a non fiction book! I know nothing haha! I dream of a fiction though but right now I struggle to find the time to write regular blog posts!! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Tubbs28 March 2017 at 09:40

      I feel your pain. I have a note book full of half (baked) ideas! We really need some extra hours in the day.

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  29. Unknown28 March 2017 at 10:58

    I'm not sure what I would write about I know I'd really feel I made it with a book deal :-) Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

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    1. Tubbs30 March 2017 at 12:46

      I think we all would :) Thank you for commenting and for hosting each week

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  30. Mummy Fever29 March 2017 at 11:55

    I have actually written a book, had it published but had to take it off Amazon... that's another story though. Thanks for linking to #sharewithme

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    1. Tubbs30 March 2017 at 12:47

      That's a shame :( I won't ask in case it's too horrible a story to share

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  31. Unknown30 March 2017 at 14:39

    Completely agree with you! I LOVE experts. I don't know why we're against experts! And yeah I get book deals for people who are genuinely funny or have an interesting story to tell, but not books that are based on a field of expertise but are written by people with no expertise.

    I really think you should write 'I Married a Vicar' though. If we're honest, I think we're all at least a little interested in the vicaring lifestyle, as it were - it's one of those things that just feels so quintessentially British, isn't it?

    Thanks so much for joining #FridayFrolics

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    1. Tubbs31 March 2017 at 09:20

      I blame Brexit - I think this was one of Gove's pearls of wisdom. The problem with doing a book about being married to a vicar is that my one isn't CofE. For book purposes, that would work better. Mine doesn't even own a dog collar!

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  32. Jacqui30 March 2017 at 16:45

    I was just given a book written by a blogger I have never heard of. "Stepping on Cheerios" (My life in a nutshell) - I love the book title and I'm looking forward to reading it... But yes, expert books can be a little boring - something a little more personal.. Nosy maybe :) #globalblogging

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    1. Tubbs31 March 2017 at 09:26

      Mine would be "Stepping on Lego". Enjoy your book :)

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