The Weekend Starts Here

Friday night is one of our favourite nights of the week.  Quality time on the sofa watching a film as a family, with dinner on a tray.  Unwinding together after a busy week of work and school wrapped in a blanket, being cozy. 

Everybody does Friday night differently.  And everybody does it right.  Here's what Friday night looks like in our home, what does it look like in yours?

Rev T makes a special dinner - something a bit more elaborate than normal - or we get a takeaway we eat together as a family.  There is wine for us and lemonade for the Tubblet.  And pudding.  We don't usually do wine or pudding because waistlines, but we do on Friday.  Before dinner, there may be treats.  On Friday night, crisps make an appearance.  On other nights, crisps are forbidden because waistlines.

We try and make sure all chores are done so the weekend isn't spent doing housework.  This doesn't always happen, but the front room is hoovered and may see a duster. Sometimes we dim the lights and light some candles.  

One of us gets to pick a film for the rest of us to watch. And enjoy.  Complaining because you didn't want to watch that is not allowed.  Dimming the lights makes it feel like we're in the cinema.  Rev T says the TV picture looks better in the dark.  After the Tubblet goes to bed, Rev T and I watch grown-up TV.  The Last Leg counts as grown-up yes?!

Let me know what your Friday night looks like in the comments.  I'm sure there are some ideas I can nick to make ours even better!

Looking After Ourselves. The Art of Self-Care

Having written about the need to be kind to others, I thought a companion post about being kind to ourselves was in order.  To be able to look after others properly, it's important to look after ourselves physically and emotionally.  It also helps us set standards for the way we want to be treated by others.

It's not always easy, especially if you've got lots going on.  But it's a good habit to get into.  It won't make problems and issues go away, but may make them easier to deal with.

Self-care looks different to everyone.  For some, it's taking time away from devices.  For others, it's a moment to themselves without the children in a coffee shop.  For another person, it'll be getting outside.  

Here's some ideas:

• A good night's sleep - an early night.  Things usually look better in the morning.

• Making sure you drink enough water.  When I get dehydrated I feel tired and cranky.  A cup of tea and coffee are also comforting.  

• Eating right.  Filling up on nutritious stuff always makes me feel better and more energised. But a little cake or chocolate are also good.  

• Having a wash may seem a bit basic, but it's tempting to stay in my PJ's and comfy sweatshirt for most of the day.  Having a shower, putting on some clean clothes and a bit of make-up makes me feel better.   It also avoids that moment when you realise that the smell isn't the cat's litter tray.  

• Distraction.  With a good book, a game, a film or an episode of a favourite TV show.    Or a good tidy.  Or putting some music on and dancing like nobody's watching. Going to find or make some fun.  Whilst you're doing that, you're not worrying about that annoying piece of work or the huge list of chores.  

• Simple pampering things like having a bath or a shower or doing a face mask.

• Treating yourself is a more controversial method of self-care as spending money to make yourself better can lead to other problems. But a small treat that's within the budget, that's okay.

• Getting outside in the fresh air, going for a walk or just standing in a field watching the sky is great.  Other people go running in the fields or to the gym down the road.  Bringing the outside in by buying some flowers or a plant.  (I kill plants, but flowers are cool).  

• Cooking really relaxes me.  It's great to try out new recipes or new techniques.  

• Calling a friend or a family member.  

• Planning something to look forward too.  I always find it helpful to have something to do and somewhere to go.  Even if I decide not to.  

• Writing down a list of things you love or are thankful for.

• Be kind to yourself.  Instead of telling yourself that you're not that good, try praising yourself for who you are and what you do well.

• While being selfish in all areas of life isn't good, sometimes, doing things because youI want to - or not doing them because you don't - is okay sometimes.  

Some people find it helpful to schedule self care tasks into their calendar so they actually happen. How do you look after yourself?  

Happy Mother's Day#WeAreAllMums

Mother's Day is an odd celebration as how you relate to it totally depends on your circumstances. 

It may be a great day to enjoy with your children or your mum.  It may be a miserable day as you long for children and don't have them.  Or your relationship with the ones you have is challenging.  It could be yet another reminder that your much loved mum is gone.  Or that the mum you got wasn't the mum you needed.  (Tommy's have launched a campaign to remind us that regardless of the number of babies in our arms or under our feet, #WeAreAllMums)

I've very mixed feelings about it.  Getting a card, a present and a hug from the Tubblet is lovely. Being reminded that my mum has died, not so much.  I try to focus on the "mothering" aspect. Mothering is comes in all shapes and sizes and from various sources.  Not always the ones you expect.  Giving thanks for those who have mothered me over the years and who get mothered by me. (Whether they want to be or not!) 

I love the lyrics from "This is to Mother You" by Sinead O'Connor:  

"This is to mother you

To comfort you and get you through

Through when your nights are lonely

Through when your dreams are only blue

This is to mother you

This is to be with you

...

For child I am so glad I've found you

Although my arms have always been around you

Sweet bird although you did not see me

I saw you

And I'm here to mother you ..."

Whatever you're doing today, I hope you're having a good one.

Happy Mother's Day

[Disclosure:  Tommy's fund research into the causes and prevention of pregnancy complications that lead to miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. They also provide pregnancy health information for parents-to-be.  This post was scheduled, but I added the link and hashtag after reading Laura at Five Little Dove's post, We Are All Mums.  Have tissues at the ready before clicking.  You'll need them].  

Neko Atsume, the Kitty Collector Game. A Favourite Waste of Time

The Tubblet loves anime, manga and all things Pokémon.  Her love affair with Pokémon GO was short lived as, fun though it is, it drains phone batteries and gobbles up data allowances. Other games want money or serious skills or time.

Neko Atsume, the Kitty Collector Game, requires none of these.  Just a love of cute cats. The player purchases food, toys, and furniture to attract different cats to their virtual home. Then watches the cats interact with objects and takes photos of them to save in an album.  In exchange for food and goodies, the cats leave gifts of fish and strange little mementos like a piece of ribbon or tiny bell.

The game has no end as cats continue to come as long as food appears.  The cats aren't bothered by what food is out, as long as there is food.  Much like the real thing.

If you're the competitive sort and want to attract the maximum amount of cats at any one time, then the goodies multiple cats can play with in the Zen Garden is the way to go.  Like in the very first photo.

All the cute comes in a free download from the Android and Apple App stores. Search for "Kitty Collector" or "Neko Atsume".

A film is being released in Japan later this year.  If it does well, we'll probably get the English language rom-com version the following year.  Don't say I didn't warn you!

[Disclosure:  This post is not remotely official.  The Tubblet and I like this game and wanted to share].

If I Had a Book Deal ...

Sings whilst dancing, 

"If I were a big blogger,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a big, big blogger ..."

And that's quite enough.  Like all bloggers, deep in my heart lurks a fantasy about making it big in the blogging world.  Like most fantasies, it focuses on the biddy, biddy, bum rather than the actual details about making it big.  Like work, talent and luck.

Publishers are offering book deals to any blogger with a large enough audience to potentially shift lots of units.  A few of the choices seem a little odd to me.  Not because they're not good at what they do or aren't hard-working, but because most of the book deals are for non-fiction. Non-fiction books are written by experts in their field.  Some bloggers don't seem very expert-y.

It's difficult to take someone seriously when they claim to have a deep love for a subject and a desire to share, but lack qualifications or training.  Or offer advice without much experience or first hand knowledge.  Or present themselves as relate-able while living a life in parts of the country that aren't even aspirational for most people.

Obviously, I haven't had enough of experts.  Is this just me?  I do love a good celeb book though.

My sister bought me Gok's Chinese cookery book for Christmas a few years back.  It's now splattered with soy sauce and oil. (Messy cook!).  Gok has been around kitchens since he was a tot.  I take him seriously in a way I don't other celebs offering similar content.

I'm not sure there is a single thing I know enough about to be considered an expert or turn into a book containing unique insights.  But let's not worry about that.  I'm a Very Important Blogger (VIB) with an imaginary book to write to an equally imaginary deadline that needs to be about something ...

Pondering my strengths and weaknesses, areas of knowledge and life experience, I came up with a grand total of nothing.

"Researching in Financial Services" sounds like an aid to restful sleep.  "I married a vicar" has limited appeal.  I love cooking, beauty, clothes and interiors, but not enough to fill a book. Maybe I'll suggest a collection of  "The Best of Someplace Strange" with some "exclusive new material".  That'll do.

What kind of book would you write if you were offered a book deal?  Let me know in the comments. Maybe a publisher will find this post and commission it from you.

I'm not the only one with superstar blogger related fantasies as A Single Mother Speaks proves. Phew!

Looking Forward to Spring

Each time the seasons change, I always get excited.  Each season brings new possibilities, new plans to work on ... 

I'm looking forward to light mornings and travelling home from work when it's nice and bright. Light makes it easier to take photos so I can work on those.  (Got this one from Unsplash). The Spring flowers - daffodils and snowdrops - are starting to appear in people's gardens and on the Village Green.  There are green leaves on the trees and the birds are back.  With the early morning singing.  

There will be baby lambs, calves and pigs in the nearby farms.  The Tubblet will be kept firmly away. After seeing loads of baby lambs on a school trip, she announced they were too cute too eat so we haven't had roast lamb since.  She's not getting the bacon!  Or the roast beef and Yorkshires!  

Easter is coming.  Rev T has been tapped for a guest post so I'll leave the religious aspect to him.  Easter is hard work for him as there are services and events to organise and attend.  But I'm looking forward to a four day weekend.  And chocolate.  Who doesn't love chocolate?  (If you want some chocolate related laughs, check out "The Calendar According to Chocolate" by Dawn over at Rhyming with Wine). 

Like many people, I'm hoping for good news on the international front.  I can't believe this month the UK will start the process of leaving the EU and be gone in two years.  (And Scotland!)  My company has announced its plans to ensure it still has access to EU markets once the UK leaves.  It's also assured us the changes mean no redundancies and they're still committed to the UK, with loads of plans to invest. We'll see.  The proof will be in the pudding.  (Politics isn't so much the elephant in the room now, it's more the escapee from the room that's currently dancing like nobody does and blocking out the light.  Hopefully it'll wear itself out eventually so we can pack it off to bed for a rest).

What Spring things are you looking forward too?

Turn on the Light. Random Acts of Kindness

"Happiness can be found in the darkest times, if one only remembers to turn on the light".

Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  

In my post about trying to make sense of recent events, I talked about how kindness could be a powerful way of demonstrating priorities, world view and just because ... It's nice to be nice.  It makes others feel happy and improves their lives because they weren't expecting it.  It makes us feel happy because it just does.  Given how crazy and destructive the world seems right now, a little love and kindness goes a long way.

I don't usually bother with words for the year, but this year, I will.  My word for the year is kind.  It means generous, helpful,  considering the feelings of others and not causing harm or damage.  It has other meanings as well, but those are the ones I'm focusing on.  Yes, this is a bit late, but no matter.

It's lovely see to similar posts popping up all over the blogosphere.  Michelle over at This Happened to Me Today tells 2017 our children are watching and it's not okay.  She also wants to make the world a better place.  Liza at Lisapomerantzster: Are We There Yet and Emma at Islandliving365 have written some amazing posts (on this).  Maybe if everyone feels the same jumps up and down we'll make the world shake.  

Here's some ideas:

• Give a genuine compliment to a different person each day. 

• Offer to help someone - baby sit their children, cook dinner etc.

• Donate items to your local food bank or pet shelter.  Many supermarkets have a cardboard container at the back of the store where you can put your purchases to be picked up later.   Or volunteer.

• Manners.  Smile and be friendly.  Listen to people when they're talking and don't interrupt. Please's and thank you's.  Sharing.  

• Give up your seat on the bus or train for someone who needs it more.

• If there's an argument or disagreement, keep out of it.  Don't add fuel to the fire.

• Welcome newcomers at work, school or the various groups you attend and introduce them around.  

• Buy lunch or suspended coffees for someone needy.  If your local coffee shop doesn't do this yet, maybe suggest they do.  

Got any other suggestions for acts of kindness or stories to share?  Let me know in the comments.

Basic Bobbi: A Minimalist Makeup Lesson

A few months ago, Bobbi Brown announced she was leaving the makeup brand that bore her name after 25 years.  It's hard to grasp how revolutionary this sensibly dressed woman with her natural makeup and philosophy of, "You.  But better ..." was back in the day.  Trust me, it made a refreshing change.  

Before a makeup tidy after going cruelty-free, I thought about the products I used and how.  It made deciding what to replace / ditch and identifying future needs easier.  As well as going cruelty-free, I wanted to downsize my collection and keep it that way. When it comes to makeup, I am a bit of a magpie.  Sophie over at Private Life of A Girl wrote:

"The “haul culture” of beauty (and fashion) blogging encourages women to purchase every new release or cult product, and own a multitude of products that do exactly the same thing. ... it’s surprising how quickly drawers and countertops fill up with unnecessary, unused, or unwanted items." 

My default makeup is a variant of Basic Bobbi.  Sharing it is a small, belated tribute to someone who's been a great influence on me. Ta v much Bobbi and all the best for the future.

None of the products I use are from Bobbi Brown.  Not cruelty-free.  Sells in China.  Oh the irony.

You need a face primer, concealer(s), base, powder, bronzer, highlighter, blush, a pale matte eye-shadow and a darker, shimmery eye-shadow, eye pencil, brow gel, mascara, lipstick and settling spray.  

Once you've gathered your bits together, off we go:

1. Prep skin with primer to help makeup stay on longer.
2. Apply concealer under eyes and anywhere else that's needed to even out the skin.  
3. Follow with a foundation that matches your skin tone.  Great instructions from Paris B at My Woman Stuff.
4. Dust powder all your face or just where it tends to get shiny.
5. Use bronzer to either warm the face by applying it to where the sun hits or to contour.  Tips from Blooming Rouge.  Blend.
6. Apply blush on the apples of the cheeks, blend up towards the hairline, then downwards to soften.  Blush basics from Cupcakes & Cashmere.
7. Brush some highlighter on top of the cheek bones.  Blend.  
8. Apply the light, matte shadow from the lash-line to the brow bone and a darker, shimmery shadow on the lower lid up to the socket line with a fluffy brush.  Blend the darker shadow with a finger so there are no hard edges.  The technical term is "one wash wonder".
9. Line upper and lower lash line with a pencil. Bobbi uses a gel liner, but when I try this, I look like a panda.  No one wants to look like a panda.  Unless you're a panda.
10. Spray with setting spray.  Helps makeup stay on longer.
11. Define brows with something- pencil, shadow or gel - that matches your brow colour.  Begin at the start of the brow and work towards the end using soft, feathery strokes.  Follow with mascara.
12. Apply some lipstick or lip gloss. All done!

The wonderful thing about Basic Bobbi is it works for almost anyone and for any occasion.  Party - glittery eye shadow, lots of eye pencil and mascara with a red lip.  Office or home - natural colours and a nude lip.  It doesn't take that long either.  I can usually get my face on in about five to ten minutes.  See, like a makeup ninja!

How do you do your makeup?


Sometimes the Scheduling Fairy smiles on you and, although you haven't planned it, your post coincides with something you've forgotten about completely.  Last week's Moomins post appeared on National Book Day.  This week the Scheduling Fairy frowned.  My posts for the week of International Women's Day ... One on kitchens and this one on makeup.

I'll leave you with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's brilliantly simple but comprehensive description of feminists: “a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes”.   

She also says: "Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general – but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender.”

Welcome to Our Kitchen

Welcome to our kitchen.  Fancy a coffee or tea?  Biscuit?  It's small.  More than one person in there and it's a bit crowded.  It's never going to be featured in World of Interiors or Pinned on a mood board for someone's dream kitchen.  But I like it.  

I love cooking but only do it at weekends.  Rev T cooks during the week as he's home.

It's full of memories.  The Tubblet's drawings. Mainly from her Junior School period.  The plates and mugs Rev T and I choose in Woolworths just after we got married.  The wedding presents from Allders.  The Italian ceramics we bought in Florence on our honeymoon.  The glass jars we picked up during a rare trip to Ikea.  (We don't go there often.  It never ends well.  One of us wants to buy all the things.  The other makes me put them back).  The plant I haven't yet killed.  Black fingers.  My lovely cookbook collection packed with goodness and new tastes.  The fridge full of magnets bought back from holidays to remind us of great places and time spent together. Artwork to make the walls less bare. The dock for music to sing along too.

The cupboards and drawers are full of  Useful Stuff.  Pots and pans, dishes, cutlery as well as food. They get cleaned regularly but there is always a sachet of Birds Custard or similar lurking at the back of historical significance.  The things we need all the time - oil, pasta, sugar, cooking utensils - are where they can be grabbed easily.  Everything else is put away.  Neatly.  Ish.  

I'm writing this post for two reasons.  One, I love looking around other people's home and suspect others are just as nosy as me.  Two, because there are too many Pinterest perfect kitchen posts out there and I wanted to show something more real.  Yes, that is recycling ready to be put out on the counter-top, dishes stacked to dry and washing up waiting to be done in the sink. One of the items is a Lego Movie cup from McDonalds.  Call the mum police. We have a live one ...

That's probably everything.  What's your favourite room in your home?  Let me know in the comments.  Point me to posts where I can have a peak.

Adventures in Moominland at the Southbank Centre

Moomins are carefree, slightly bohemian creatures.  They're white, rotund, with large snouts and look a bit like hippopotamuses. The Tubblet calls them space hippos.  Finn Family Moomintroll - Moominpappa, Moominmamma and Moomintroll - live in Moomin Valley and have many adventures alongside their friends.  These were detailed by their creator, Tove Jansson, in nine books, five picture books and a long-running comic strip.

Adventures in Moominland is a guided trip through landmarks in the Moomin stories - forests, caves, the boat house, a sail boat and a light house - before finishing up in the Moomin's house.  

Along the way, you discover how Jansson created the stories, where she got her ideas and see some of her original drawings and sculptures.  (You can see more of her drawings at Dulwich later this year.  I feel another trip coming on ...).  

The Tubblet and I went during half-term and both really loved it.  If you love Moomins too, totally go.  It's magical.  

The adventure lasts about 50 minutes, is suitable for children aged 7+ with disabled access.  Best book in advance as there are only so many tours per day and groups are small.  Don't be late as you can only enter at the specific time on your ticket and the tours leave promptly.

The Adventure runs until 23 April 2017 and tickets cost £13.50 - £16.50, with a £1.75 booking fee. There's a small selection of souvenirs - beautiful but not cheap so we browsed.  The Moomin Shop in Covent Garden is a short walk away and has loads more Moomin-related stuff.  Same proviso, so we browsed some more!

Sadly, you weren't allowed to take photos during the adventure so "picking through the photos" meant looking for some book covers and then giving up.  Because copyright.

The fact that this post is shared during World Book Day is a completely happy coincidence.  When I scheduled, I had no idea.