I am a 48%er

Well, Friday’s EU Referendum result was not what I hoped for. It brings up some many emotions ...

I’m sad about the lost possibilities and opportunities, particularly for the Tubblet and her generation. One of the fun things about going on holiday in Europe is wandering around and imagining that we could actually live there.  (After a language skills upgrade of epic proportions).   No more. Those doors are closed.

I feel ashamed that UK politics is in the state it’s in.  Everyone seems pretty much out for themselves and will do and say anything to get ahead.  Regardless of the consequences.  

No one talked about the pros and cons of EU membership.  The whole Leave campaign felt a bit like 3 months of people slagging off anyone who isn’t from around here and made casual racism acceptable again. One of the men campaigning in our city centre had what can only be described as, “Racist Tourettes”.  “Migrants!  Migrants were coming!” While the Remain campaign just kept telling us the sky would fall if we left.  (Looking at the news this morning, they may have had a point).

I’m fearful.  No one seems to have an actual plan of what we want to ask for now once Article 50 is triggered.  And there are no guarantees we’ll get anything at all.  

What impact will Brexit have on jobs and communities.  The 2008 crash was horrific and we’re still not over it.  The fall out will hit the poorest, most vulnerable, leading to more austerity that we’ll have to cope with on our own.   

I’m frustrated because all I can do is watch, pray and hope for the best.  

I am in Europe but not of Europe.  Indeed, I has a sad.

"Fasten your seat belts.  It's going to be a bumpy night"

Bette Davies, All About Eve

I'm In With The #InCrowd and Will #VoteRemain #StrongerIn

I had this great post planned about why I'm voting remain in the EU Referendum.  Then this popped up on FB feed and saved me a job.

As well as proving the pen is mightier than the sword, it also shows that Leave's arguments don't stand up.  The ad is from the Evening Standard, but the comments are from an unknown young person from Youth Vote Remain.  The final comment is the clincher for me.  "It's not your future - it's ours".

The pen is mightier than the sword. An #eveningstandard ad for Brexit after someone added some pesky facts #strongerineurope #voteremain #votestay #incrowd

A post shared by Mrs Tubbs (@mrs_tubbs65) on Jun 2, 2016 at 12:01pm PDT

I want the Tubblet to have as many opportunities as possible.  To be able to travel and live wherever she likes in Europe.  For her rights as a woman at work to be protected.  To meet people from all nations and judge them on the quality of their character, not the colour of their skin, religion or place of birth.  I think that's more likely to happen if the UK remains in the EU.

Selfishly, I don't want to be left alone on this small island with the Tories in charge.  Nor do I want to feel guilty at yet another thing previous generations took for granted being taken away from the next ones on my watch.  The Tubblet's generation has already lost retirement on a decent pension, home ownership, student grants and free university education.  

For more scholarly and thoughtful arguments, Nicholas Barr at the London School of Economics explains why he'll be voting to remain.  He goes through pretty much everything, from the potential impact on the Irish-UK peace process to the economy.  A long read, but worth it.

I'm in with the #InCrowd and will #VoteRemain and believe we're #StrongerIn

What will you be voting and why tomorrow?  Let me know in the comments.  (And remember, keep it classy!)

Why It's Okay Not to Love Blogging All The Time. Or At All

In my post. Blogging When You Can't Be Bothered, the assumption was that in the end you'd blog on through the slump.  That was echoed in the comments as well.  But ... But ...There are times when blogging isn't fun.  It can be a total time suck as it's not just the writing, it's the promoting, the commenting and all the other stuff.  Although the lifestyle some bloggers present is super glamorous, they're not always true.  After I've scheduled this post, I'm off to empty the bins.  Living the dream.

There are things that can help.  The first is to avoid negativity.  Don't read things that upset you, make you angry or unhappy.  Hate reading is a bad habit writes a woman who has lost whole lunchtimes to the Sidebar of Shame.  Mute or unfollow people on social media.  (If my Pro-Eu ramblings on Twitter and Instagram wind you up, then please feel free!  I won't be offended!  Or we could talk about it).

The other thing is to take back control.  Reading that post about my mummy blog sucking, what struck me is that the writer had allowed blogging to completely take over her family and their life had become one big product placement exercise.  She had no boundaries at all.  It's easy to do.  Getting opportunities is really exciting and many of us aren't good at saying no.  But it's a powerful little word and saying it every so often actually makes us happier and helps keep blogging fun.

Lastly, and this may seem a weird thing to write in the run up to #BML16, it's okay to try blogging, decide you don't like it and stop.  Let's pop that in bold italics, it's okay if you stop blogging.  Not everyone likes everything they try.  Some people enjoy reading blogs, but prefer living the life rather than blogging about it.  And you know what, that's okay. 

This isn't the prelude to some great announcement or flounce.  I just had these thoughts and decided to put them out there.  Because in all my years of reading blogs, I think I've seen one post saying this. Now there are two.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about this.  Let me know in the comments.  Let me know if you're coming to BML as well so I can look out for you.

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Revelation Threads

During half-term, Rev T and the Tubblet went to see Revelation Threads at St Albans Cathedral. An "exhibition of textile art created in response to the last book of the Bible, with the aim of retelling an extraordinary story. Raising issues of life and faith, good and evil, death and judgement, resurrection and a new Heaven and a new Earth".  The Fourteen panels took artist, Jacqui Parkinson, three years to complete.  Here are the pictures Rev T took.

If you would like to the panels yourself, they're touring various cathedrals.  These are stunning it's amazing that they're made of fabric and embroidery.  (Hemming and sewing on a button is my limit).

Hope you're having a lovely week.  

6 Things I've Learnt Since I Became a Grown-up

Having talked about possessions that you only own if you're an official adult, I wondered about some of the things that you only learn when you're an actual grown up.  

When I was little, I thought being a grown up would be the best thing ever. You could do whatever you wanted.  Although I can do some of the things I want, others not so much.  I have to go work, look after Rev T and the Tubblet and clean the house.  Although if I wanted to eat Nutella on toast for breakfast washed down with a bucket of coffee every day, then I can.  

• You don't know what you're doing.  We're all just making it up as we go along and hoping for the best.  Even our parents.  But when you're little, you think all grown ups have it all totally worked out. Especially your parents.

• The cleaning is never done.  No one's house is clean and tidy all the time.  There's always housework, washing up or laundry to be done.  Then there's the mess fairy ... The mess fairy wanders about the house scattering things in their wake.  Usually small, plastic or cuddly things.

• You're tired all the time.  However much sleep I get, I'm always tired.  It's like a sleep thief comes every night and pinches my sleep.  Frankly, I want it back!  But when I was younger, I could party all night and still function properly the next day.  

• I got bills ... I have to pay ...  Or should they be called Williams as some of them are much too unfriendly to be called Bills? And, just when I think I've got them all paid, something unexpected happens and there's a new one.  No one mentions bills when you're growing up. Barbie Fashion Fever lets you purchase an outfit by swiping a credit card, "Charge it!"  No mention of the bill afterwards or the consequences if Barbie fails to pay for all the pretty pink things.  The Tubblet never had one of these.  I thought that pretending to buy things on a credit card was a piece of imaginary play too far.  Credit cards are great if you clear the balance at the end of each month, but I wasn't sure if I could get a five year old to understand that.  It took me long enough.

• Friendships.  When I was young, I wanted all the friends.  Now, friendships are about quality not quantity.  Friends who care, ask how things are and are there through thick and thin.  When I was young, I spent all day, every day with my friends.  Now, getting everyone together takes endless planning and someone always cancels at the last minute. During the evening out, everyone drinks sensibly and goes home early.   We all need the sleep and hangovers last for 3 days instead of 3 minutes.  Besides, if you've got children, parenting whilst hungover is grim work.  Children know when you're weak.  

• Garden centres, Lakeland and ... When I was little, my parents dragged me round garden centres etc and it was the most boring thing in the world.  Now, you try getting me out of Lakeland!  They've got cake stands and everything says the woman who does not bake.

What things have you learnt since you became a grown-up?  (Allegedly)

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Being An Official Grown-up

Rev T and I are in the process of drawing up wills and appointing a guardian for the Tubblet.  It's only taken 12 years to sort this out.  It occurred to me that this probably meant we'd reached proper, fully fledged adulthood.  That and the realisation that if I lost my job during the restructure, there was no parental spare room or safety net to go back to.  We were going to have figure this out on our own-some.  

That started me wondering if there were other things that also signified proper, fully fledged adulthood.  Actual adulthood.  Rather than looking like a adult, but are still pretending to be a student in between going to work and bed.  Is it having children?  Having your own front door? Being in a relationship?!  A combination of some or all these things or something else entirely.

Here's what I came up with.  Most of them are possessions or activities.  Modern adulthood seems to be less about behaviour and milestones:

• Insurance that you're not required to have by law. Insurance that you're required to have by law is motor if you're a driver, just in case you were wondering.  But optional insurance that we choose to pay for that keeps us safe and provides if things go wrong like travel, home and life insurance. Because it's the responsible thing to do and stuff might happen.

• Spare batteries.  Just in case you need them.  In different sizes.

• Nice crockery, cutlery, glasses and food bowls.  With table cloths and mats.  When you have people round for dinner, you want it to look nice.  Normally dinner is eaten off one of those TV tray things whilst watching the One Show.  But no one is here to see that.

• A medicine box.  With bandages, plasters and drugs.  Not that you'd have a clue how to use some of the things in it.  

• A crock pot / slow cooker.  That's used regularly to make warming stews.  And other pieces of proper kitchen equipment like rolling pins, garlic presses and wine decanters.  

• A linen chest that lives at the end of the bed like in the interior magazines.  It may actually have nice bed linen in it.  Or wrapping paper.  Or the winter / summer clothes.  (Delete according to the season).

What do you think are the signs of adulthood?  Have I missed anything?  Let me know in the comments.

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Jeans! I Love My Jeans! (And #BML16 Ramblings)

As BML16 approaches, posts talking about what people are hoping to do and what they'll be wearing have started appearing.  This is mine.  Sort of ...

• I hope to meet people and learn things that will help me create better content for people to enjoy.

• I shall be wearing jeans and a top.  Like I do most weekends.  As BML16 is a slightly scary occasion involving lots of new people somewhere I don't know, I'm wearing something that makes me feel confident and comfortable. (You may not believe this, but I am actually quite shy).  

If it was up to me, I'd wear jeans almost every day.  They're my "wardrobe champions".  Suitable for almost every occasion.  Sadly, it's not up to me so it's weekends and holidays only.  The go to shop for jeans is Fat Face. (Other shops are available).

Here is the obligatory outfit photo.  Me and the Tubblet at Grand Central Station in New York. Hopefully this will help you recognise me on the 25th.  But my hair is no longer brown.  It's grey. (Did you want to see a picture of the natural hair colour?  Should I do this, "Big Natural Hair Colour Reveal" style?)

The sort of jeans depends on what the weather is doing on the day, but these are my three favourites. It'll be one of these, plus a top:

• The slim are mid-rise and have a slim leg that tapers so it can be tucked into boots.  The slight stretch keeps the wobbly bits under control and prevents baggy knees.  (Or worse, a baggy bum!)

• The flares taper from the knee and also have a slight stretch.  They're great for tucking over boots, But not so great when it's been raining as the wet material flaps about the ankles and takes ages to dry.

• The crop are prefect for summer. Long top, cardi, sandals.  Job done.  (You can see them in the outfit photo).

Do you have a favourite brand or shop where you buy jeans from?  Are you going to BML16?  What will you be wearing?  It'll help me find you and say hello.  What are you hoping to do when you're there?  Any advice for a newbie?  Let me know in the comments.

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Things to Do When Feeling Stressed

Stress is part of everyday whether we want it to be or not.  As the whole work situation worked itself though, here are some of the things that I kept trying to remember:  

• This too shall pass.  Nothing lasts forever.

• The person who's feeling it most is you.  (Or me.  Although Rev T might disagree with that statement).

• No one is ever doing as badly as they think they are.

• Turn off the phone.  The Internet and social media is full of people showing their best life with none of the grotty bits.  On the other hand, pictures of me cleaning the bathroom may not be what people want from a social media feed.

• The people who matter most are the ones who'll be there through thick and thin and will never judge you.  (They might tell it to you like it is, but they won't judge you)

• Don't let the past dominate the future.  Leave it behind and don't dwell.  Don't get caught up in the whole "should have, would have, could have ..." thing.

• Read a book.

• Drink more water.

• Listen to some music.

• Do things at your own pace.  Set your own goals and have your own ideals.

• Have a hot drink or a warm bath.

• Clean and organise.

• Treat yourself to a little something.  (Budget permitting).  

• Go outside and get some fresh air.  Breathe in deeply.  Walk about a bit.  

• Express your frustration.  Have a cry or shake your fist at the sky.  Talk to a friend.

• Make a list of the things you're thankful for.  

• Write down what's stressing you and then burn it or rip it up.  

• Get some me-time.

• Do something that makes you laugh.  Life is meant to be fun, so try not to take it too seriously.  (I say this because when I get stress, the first thing to go is my sense of humour and perspective).  

• Try to enjoy where you are right now as you'll never be there again.  

What things do you tell yourself or do when you're feeling stressed?

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Featured on What I Read - Morgan's Mileu 

Blogging When You Can't Be Bothered

I love my little piece of the Internet.  But there are still times when blogging seems like just one more thing to do in an already crowded life.

Whilst the consultation process was going on at work, there wasn't really a lot of headspace left for blogging.  So I left it and did what I could, when I felt like it.  Now the consultation process is over, it's time to pick up the pieces and get back into the blog again.

Here are some things that helped me keep on keeping on:

• Remember, it's not just me.  Everyone gets tired of blogging at some point or life just gets in the way.  No point in getting worked up about it.

• Seek out inspiration by reading other things and sharing some love.  Or I could go for a walk, meet a friend, hang out with my family.  I could ask them for some suggestions for things to blog about.  Although whenever I've asked Rev T and the Tubblet, the usual response is not us!  
• Quality over quantity.  Every blogger aims for All killer, no filler".  But I don't have an unlimited number of ideas or time for blogging.  I'd sooner write a few great posts than lots of not so good ones.  The blogger next door may be posting brilliant content seven days a week, running a fabulous online magazine and making amazing videos! They're a marvel and deserves some love.  But I don't need to be like them.  (And I don't want too!)

• Be realistic about what I can do with my limited resources.  

• Plan my content as this helps me make the best use of my time.  

• Focus on the next post I have to get out helps stop me getting overwhelmed.  Get that done, then move onto the next one!  It's easy to get overwhelmed by the content calendar.

• Just write something.  If I manage to write something, even if takes ages, it helps me write the next thing.  

• Do something new.  I just haven't quite worked out what yet.  But even if it's a small things like finding a new subject to write about, changing some colours or tweaking a font, it makes a difference!  

• Restructure.  When I started blogging, I tried to post everyday. It was fun, but became overwhelming.  I'm experimenting with my schedule and the amount of Linkys I do keep a blog-life balance.

• Back to basics.  Remind myself why I decided to start blogging in the  first place - to have fun, meet new people and to occasionally talk about lipstick, coffee and Lego.  To nurture the joy and keep it fun.  

And, most importantly:

• Do something else.  There's family to hang out with, the house does not clean itself and there are books to read.  I'll do those for a bit. The blog will still be there when I get back.  And it's not like there aren't loads of other great blogs to read.  (No names as you're all my favourites).  

Got any tips for keeping your blogging mojo or getting it back?

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