Friendships

The Tubbs family are lucky to be blessed with some really great friends.  It’s a shame that Rev T’s job has taken us away from many of them.  We don’t get to see them as much as we’d like as weekend working isn’t great for catch-up visits.  

Then there’s the friends who got away.  Most friendships end because the glue that held the friendship together goes.  No longer working in the same place or have children in the same class.  Nothing bad, just circumstances.  

A few times the friendship ended because of a falling out.  That may or may not have been my fault. Of those, there are only two I really regret not doing my best to sort things out at the time.  My best friend from school, M, and a workmate, also called M.  Gory details?!  Not likely!  I managed to fall out with them around the same time, with only myself to blame.  Not a good year.

We fell out pre-Internet / mobiles so when people were gone, they were gone.  When sites like Facebook started, I wondered about trying to find them.  

Having the opportunity to apologise to them and maybe put things right would be lovely.  But there were other considerations as well.  This wasn’t just all about me and my desire for “closure”.  They might not appreciate me reaching out from the past into their lives via the Internet.  I had no idea of their situation or circumstances. 

In the end, I did a deal with myself.  I wouldn't go looking for them, but if they crossed my path on social media I'd contact them.  If God wanted me to get back in touch with them, a way would be provided.  And if it wasn’t, then it was a sign that things were best left.

M, my old work college, turned up recently.  I sent a short note wishing them well.  I acknowledged that while they’d been a great friend to me, I hadn’t been the friend they’d deserved in return and apologised.  Whilst I didn’t get a reply, they friended me back.  If they’re still the same person, if they hadn’t wanted to know, they would have just binned it.  I've left well alone since.  If they want to send an actual reply, they can do so in their own good time

I have no idea if the other M will ever turn up.  If they do, I'll let you know.  

I’m not sure what the message of this post is. Maybe that if you get the chance to put something right that's bugging you, no matter how old, it’s worth taking it. 

The worst that could have happened is being ignored or told to get lost. The best, a long chatty email in response.  I got the medium, an acknowledgement.  I’ll take that.

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