The Birkin Style Bag from Karoo Classics, South Africa.

I love handbags.  My dream handbag is a classic design in a neutral colour and can be worn everyday. I tend not to skimp on bags as:

• A good bag makes everything you're wearing special.  Wherever it's from and however plain it is.

• It's going to be a family heirloom.  If you look after it and don't get Biro on it by mistake. 

• A good bag costs less per wear than loads of cheaper ones as a) you'll use it more and b) it'll last longer.  I'd sooner buy one really good bag once a year than loads of cheaper ones.  

This could, of course, be self-justifying bulls*t to justify my bag habit.  Er ... Busted!

If I ever become one of the last, rich and famous international playboys, my dream purchase is a Hermes Kelly or Birkin bag.  (If you’re not a bag nerd, the shape is similar, but the main difference is that the Birkin has two handles and the Kelly has one).  This is nothing.  My boss has decided that, should he win the lottery, he will come to work dressed as Marie Antoinette.  If it’s good enough for Elton! I am so praying this in! 

Hermes bags start at £6,500 so I won’t be owning one anytime soon. (That sound you hear is Rev T’s heart rate returning to normal!) Instead, I resorted to Le Knock Off.  Purchased in Cape Town from Karoo Classics.  This Birkin style bag is in red Ostrich leather and is suede lined.  As it was out of season and the owner was willing to do us a deal, the price wasn’t that bad.  No, I’m not going to tell you! 

If you do go to South Africa, the leather goods are amazing and well worth a look.  I'm loving my bag.

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My Ultimate Bucket List

Becky over at Little O and Me challenged me to write my ultimate bucket list.  Thank you Becky for nominating me, it's been interesting to think about what I would do if I could anything ...  

Well, after I'd finished being a Doctor Who companion ...

And had a hot date with "on the doesn't count list so it's not adultery" Richard Armitage  ...

Photo from RichardArmitage.net

Oh, these are things I actually have to do ... Right, scrub those two items and on with the list!

• Be happy and content with my life with Rev T and the Tubblet.

• Watch the Tubblet grow up into a confident, well-adjusted young woman.

• Visit a place I've never been to before.

• Stop worrying so much about silly little things.

• To see more of my friends and make sure we meet up / go out regularly.  Once a month?!

• Be more accepting of myself and more tolerant of others.

• Stop looking at my telephone / social media so much.

• Stop comparing myself to others.

• Learn to bake.

• Get more sleep.

• Save more and be debt free.

• Not to panic about getting older.

• Make Someplace Strange the best blog it can be.  (That's best, not biggest!)

• Do well at my job.

What's on your bucket list?

And a short update, things may get a little quieter around here.  Work has asked me to go on a Social Media course and I'm not sure how spare time (hollow laughter) this will take.  I also want to update my meta tags and name my images properly.  (Oh the glamour!)  I just need to work out how best to fit it all in without compromising the quality of my blog posts, responding to comments and Getting Stuff Done.  Wish me luck!


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Trigger Warning: #ConsentIs

Many young people will be getting ready to leave for University around now.  For many of them, this will be the first time they have lived away from home.  Exciting times!  

As the Prime Minister has discovered, what happens at University doesn't always stay at University. It can come back to haunt you later in life.  Whatever the truth of #piggate or #baeofpigs, Cameron may now regret accepting that invitation to join a drinking club.

As well as making sure the young person has the practical life skills needed to make the transition from home to independent living at University successfully, it's important to make sure they also have the social skills.  It's time for The Talk.  Not about the mechanics of sex, but about consent.  

Making sure that they understand that consensual sex is the only way.  And that consent isn't always the absence of no. It must be a clear and uncoerced yes! 

This is a conversation for both boys and girls.  

This is where it all gets awkward.  Attempts to have The Talk with the Tubblet were waved away because, "We'd done that at school and it's disgusting" .   No one wants to have that conversation, but it's best to do it before they leave.  As the survey findings below show, there seems to be some confusion about when rape is okay. 

But rape is not okay.  NEVER EVER.

It's also important for the young person to understand that if something happens, it's not their fault. No matter what they wear, what they did, where they went or what they've drunk or taken.  

Don't blame the victim. No means no.

The CPS and Rape Crisis have prepared a video to help get the conversation started.  This may not be one of the discussions you wanted to have just before dropping them off at University. But it could be one of the most important conversations you have with your son or daughter:

[Disclosure statement:  This is a sort of sponsored post.  Claire who blogs over at ClaireLouise who volunteers at Peterborough Rape Crisis Care Group, part of  Rape Crisis England & Wales, asked bloggers to raise awareness of the #ConsentIs campaign during fresher's week.  So I am.  I received no payment for this post.  All opinions are my own].

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Striking a Balance Between Work, Rest and Play.

So I'm back, having had time off work, blogging and the Internet over the Summer.  It still feels weird to be typing away, but I'll get used to it again.  As this is the first scheduled time away from Someplace Strange, I thought I'd share some of the lessons this taught me. 

To quote Norman Stanley Fletcher from Porridge:

"What have I learned, Mr Mackay?  ... All right. I'll just tell him three things. One - bide your time. Two - keep your nose clean. And three - don't let the bastards grind you down".  

I missed blogging but ... 

I love my beautiful space, and time away is great for coming up with new ideas.  It's also great for getting some perspective, as life is so much more than numbers, follows etc.    It was great spending time with Rev T, the Tubblet and our extended family in a brand new place.

Work isn't the be all and end all.  

I'm career driven and like feeling I'm doing well in my job, but finding balance between work and life is equally important.  No one died wishing they'd spent more time in the office.  I want to look back and know that I'd worked hard but also had fun with my family.

You've got to do what you've got to do.  

It's easy to look at others think we ought to do that or be like that, but we're all different.  What works for one family in their situation won't work for another. And that's okay.  It isn't anyone else's business but yours.

And lastly ...

It's okay to have a rest.   

There's so much out there about working hard and achieving that implies you need to always be doing something, but having a rest is equally important.  Working all the time just leads to tiredness and burnout.  That's no fun.

The old Mars slogan was right, we need to work, rest and play.

Have you taken time off recently?  What did you do?

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Lessons Learnt From Living on a Budget

I've blogged about my difficult relationship with money before.  To keep on track, I take a hard look at my spending regularly as I have a set amount of money to spend each month.  And no more.  This is what it's taught me.

Prioritise.  Weigh up what you need against what you want. 

Reduce.  Find ways to cut costs.  

Record.  I've got an app on my phone that tracks the money I've got coming in, what's spent and what it's being spent on.  Tracking expenditure makes it more real.  It also helps identify ways to cut costs.

Bills first.  Most of our standing orders and direct debits come out early in the month.  Once they've gone, the money we've got in the account is what we've got left for food, clothes, treats and savings.

Save.  We try and make sure we've got a few months of bills saved in case of an emergency.  We're trying to build other savings too.

Stop wasting money.  I used to buy things that I didn't need.  I'm better, but still need to watch myself.  

Got any tips for living on a budget successfully?


My first blogger event, the #LLBlogMeet organised by JJ over at Love London was great fun.Many thanks to JJ for organising and to MI + Me for the wonderful hospitality.

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Things to Do Now Autumn Is Here

As I posted earlier this month, it's beginning to feel a lot like Autumn. There are lots of fun things I want to do before the season passes and Winter comes.

Get out the slow cooker / crockpot

I love cooking stews and soups with my slow cooker.  Prepare the ingredients and bung them in the night before, switch it on first thing in the morning and then leave for work.  Return home to a fantastic dinner and a wonderful smelling house. Yum! All with very little effort on my part and very little washing up.

Projects!  

I could try some of those craft projects or baking recipes that I pin to my secret boards on Pinterest.   Teaching myself a new skill.  Weaving, knitting, sewing or baking biscuits or cakes ... Or I could acknowledge that I'm actually not really that person and just delete them.  Even the birds turned their noses up at the last cake I made.  Less cake, more brick.  And being dyslexic means that anything delicate involving hand eye co-ordination just isn't my thing.

Instead, I may just look at pictures of coats ... Mmm ... coats.  And think about which one I want to buy.  Whilst cursing whoever invented the French Wardrobe.  They obviously didn't have a daily commute to work that involved waiting at bus stops and train stations with a mile walk.  You need a coat for that.  It's a basic not an item.  Unless you want to turn into Frosty the Snowman.  Ah well, rules is rules!

Foraging

There are blackberries in our garden.  They're mixed up with stinging nettles and a very thorny rose bush, but what I can get at I will pick.  And eat.  (Sadly, the pictures that were with this post are long gone.  Like the blackberries.  Hope you like the replacement)

Rugby

The World Cup starts in a few days so I need to learn the rules and the names of the players so I'm ready to watch.  I have my favourite team - Wales - and my second favourite - New Zealand.

What projects and things do you want to do in Autumn that you can only do this time of year?

And wish me luck at my first blogger event tonight, the #LLBlogMeet organised by JJ over at Love London.

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#RefugeesWelcome. More Ways To Help

You've posted and texted to #SaveSyriasChildren.  You understand the difference between a migrant and a refugee.

You may, that's may, feel that's not enough in the face of, in the words of Jeremy over at Thirsty Daddy:

"... a humanitarian crisis of staggering proportions. The U.N. estimates that over 220,000 people have died. Seven million have been displaced, with half of those being children. People are fleeing en mass for Europe, straining those countries capabilities to feed and care for them.  It’s estimated that 2,000 refugees a day try to make the trip from the Turkish coast to one of the eastern Greek Islands, hoping for safety for themselves and their families. The Turkish Coast Guard says that it has rescued more than 42,00 from the Aegean Sea this year. 2,800 have died or disappeared attempting to make the crossing.

Of the 366,000 estimated to have made the journey to Europe, many continue to be held in refugee camps while they await word on where or when they will be allowed to relocate.  Authorities are overwhelmed and unable to continue handling the influx. These people need clothing, food, shelter, and medicine. Demand is outpacing supply".  

Image from Independent Liverpool

Here are some extra things to do if you'd like to.  No pressure though.  If you feel that you've already done your bit, want to support other worthy causes or feel these ideas aren't right for you, that's okay:

• Donate to one of the many charities helping refugees.  

• Organisations like Home for Good are gathering names of people willing to offer a room to a refugee.

• Make your voice heard by signing petitions asking Parliament to debate the treatment of refugees; writing to your MP or going on marches or rallies.  

• #factsnotfear.  There's a lot of noise on social media about this issue and it's easy to be swayed by negative messages and stereotypes.  The Great Critique has a great article correcting popular rumours about Syrian Refugees.  The Red Cross will answer any questions sent to getthestorystraight@redcross.org.uk.  

Hope this is useful if you are looking for other ideas of how to help.  Thank you for reading.  As always, have a lovely week!

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Writing Brilliant Blog Posts. George Orwell's Advice from 1948

There are numerous posts about how to write blog posts.  Make it easy to read with short paragraphs, broken up with headings, bold text and photos. It goes without saying that said blog post is well written, spell and grammar checked etc.  Preferably in a readable font and with a comment system that doesn't require your life history!  With a hero picture.  

In his 1948 essay, Politics and The English Language, George Orwell listed a number of bad writing habits that he believed were signs of the corruption in political thought at the time:

• Pretentious diction
• Meaningless words
• Dead metaphors
• Hackneyed phrases
• Cliches
• Jargon

Orwell suggested guidelines to avoid this: 

• Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
• Never use a long word when a short one will do.
• If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
• Never use the passive when you can use the active.
• Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
• Break any of those rules rather than say anything that is outright barbarous.  

Still good advice.  

If when you're reading Someplace Strange and feel like you've been out for a coffee with your slightly mad, opinionated, left-wing, rather sarcastic Christian friend and had a good time, then my work is done!  

Any other advice?

In other news, I'm going to my first blogger event next week, the #LLBlogMeet organised by JJ over at Love London.  Apart from myself and beer money, what should I take?  (Not nervous.  No.  Not me!) Anyone else going to this?

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#savesyriaschildren and #refugeeswelcome

Over the weekend, a group of blogging mums and dads decided to support Save the Children‘s fund-raising efforts by posting black-and-white images featuring children holding up placards saying ‘It could have been me/us’ and encouraging others to pledge £5 via SMS.  If you'd like to read all the posts, Mummy Tries has gathered them all into one place.  (Make sure you have tissues to hand).

At the same time, The Independent asked people to sign a petition asking the UK government to allow more refugees into the UK and to share pictures tagged #refugeeswelcome to show support.  

If you've read my post on migrants v refugees and why it's important not to confuse the two or my comments in response to Katie Hopkins' remarks that they should just be left to drown, then you may appreciate why I'm doing an extra post ...

If you haven't donated or shared a photo yet, then please consider doing so.  It could so easily have been us.  Or you.  

Thank you for reading.  Thank you even more for donating and sharing messages on social media to show support and raise awareness.  

Wake Up to Autumn ... With Winter on the Way

Great!  I have mixed emotions about the change in seasons. Summer is warm and I love the longer days, but like it or not, Autumn is here.  The central heating designed to come on when the temperature drops below a certain point, came on this weekend.

Time for warm nights in with decent TV - the return of Who and Strictly - and candles.  Shame it also brings the return of the Tubblet's and Rev T's eczema and freezing cold waits at the bus stop.

Signs of Autumn ...

• You wake up to the sound of rain pattering on the window.  (On the other hand, that's also summer!)

• The summer quilt gets replaced by the duvet.  Which is pulled up as high as it'll go.

• Lights on the morning so you can see what you're doing when washing, dressing and putting on makeup.

• The central heating has come on.

• Layers!  And shoes or boots and thick tights.

• Soup and bread replaces salad or sandwiches as the default choice for lunch.

• We've just spent a small fortune on school equipment and new uniforms.  And the bus is full of kids.  First thing in the morning, it's a bit much!

That's great because ...

• The return of the winter wardrobe!  Jeans, snuggly boots, silly socks, tunic tops and a cardigan. 

• What's not to love?!  No one bothers telling you to get beach body ready either. 

• Kicking leaves and jumping in muddy puddles.

• Proper food.  Sausages and mash, stews, toad in the hole, roast dinners ... Drooling as I type this.  Yorkshire puds!  Tea and crumpets with loads of butter.

• New season TV.  Including Who.  Who!

• My birthday!  (And our wedding anniversary).

• Long walks without worrying that you'll melt.  Later this will turn into long walks where you worry you'll freeze to the spot.

• And did I mention ...

What's your favourite season?

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Migrant v Refugee. It Pays to Increase Your Word Power.

Migrant.  

Person who moves from one country to another to find work or better living conditions.  A migrant can return home whenever they want.  If they decide to stay in their new country forever they become an immigrant.

Refugee.  

A person who is outside their home country because they have suffered, or fear, persecution on account of race, religion, nationality, or political opinion; because they are a member of a persecuted social category of persons; or because they are fleeing a war or famine.  There is no home country to return to.  Until the country they've fled too accepts them, they are an asylum seeker.  The photo is "The Refugee" by Diana Brandenburger.  It can be seen at Chichester Cathedral.

   

Many of the people travelling to Europe and elsewhere are coming from countries like Syria, the Sudan, Eritrea or Zimbabwe.  Countries run by repressive regimes, ravaged by war or famine ... Next time you read an editorial about the "migrant crisis" that says we should just send them back to where they came from, try substituting the word "refugee".  And ponder ... 

If the Syria now was the view from my window, I'd do anything, go anywhere, risk everything to keep my family, my child safe.  In the hope of giving them a better life.  Because I just would.

Hoping that when I got wherever it was, I'd be welcomed by people who understood that I'd come with nothing apart what I was wearing, the few things that I could carry and my family.  Looking for a new home in a safe place, opportunities to work and learn.  Want to help?  The Independent has details of five practical ways you can.

We're all people and we all want the same things for our families.  My friend Mandy shared this on FB.  It's on a bus stop in Liverpool.  Thank you Mandy, hope you think I've put it to good use.

I know this is complicated, but if a society is judged on how it looks after the poor and the powerless, we're not doing that great ... Want to change that?

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