Traveling to South Africa with Children this Summer. Check Your Documents

This has to be the shortest blog break ever.  We should be on our way to South Africa to meet up with family from the US.  We are back at home somewhere on the Thameslink Line.  

In June 2015, South Africa changed the rules for families travelling with children.  As well as a valid passport, proof of a return flight and somewhere to stay, you also need proof you are able to travel aboard with that child.  We got two emails forwarded to us from the travel agents used by the family we are meeting up.  All of them mentioned "birth certificate".   And nothing else.  I don't believe we received anything from Expedia, the company we booked with.

Yesterday we turned up at the airport with our papers and the Tubblet's birth certificate.  The standard birth certificate.  (The free one).  The one that shows that that the Tubblet was born in Sarf London in September 2003.  

The South African government requires the extended birth certificate.  The one with details of both parents.  (The one costing £9.95).  

No extended birth certificate.  No flight.

Since the law changed in  June, according to a South African Airlines staff member at the gate, over 200 families have been refused permission to board at Heathrow.  Some didn't know the law had changed.  Others had, like us, bought their "birth certificate", only to be told it wasn't valid.  

South African Airlines flight to South Africa twice a day from Heathrow.  On average, two families per flight are being turned away.  The holiday season proper hasn't started yet.  The average can only get worse.

Before we got home, we managed to contact the Central Registrar to order a copy of the extended birth certificate.  A piece of good fortune as they close at 4pm.  This should arrive on Saturday.  South African Airways has advised us to come to the airport once we have the documentation.  They will try and place us on a flight.  As the fights are full, in all likelihood, if we get seats it'll be because another family is sent home.  That doesn't seem quite right to me.  

The first flight we can be booked on is Tuesday.  That gives us four actual days holiday.  But if we don't turn up, we're a no show.  No redress for that.

When we got home, Rev T phoned Expedia.  After waiting for over an hour and half, he was told that it's the traveller's responsibility to provide all the relevant documentation.  Nothing to do with them.  Small print says so.  He was only told this after Expedia called South African Airways to confirm that we weren't making the whole thing up.  

But what about a travel company's duty of care to provide their customers with all the relevant information?   And the travel company's responsibility to ensure they are aware of anything that could impact their customers?   

This is a screen grab of the Need to Know section of Expedia's South Africa holidays website taken today, Friday 24 July 2015.  There is no mention of the new travel requirements for children.  None.  It's not mentioned in the support section either.  

This law has been in-force for 2 months.  If you are travelling with children and do not have the correct birth certificate you will not be allowed to fly.  Seems pretty 'need to know' to me.

As South African Airlines have rebooked us for Tuesday, Expedia can't offer us another route, even if they have one.  According to Expedia, South African Airways have control of our flight and there's nothing more they can do.  Even though we are Expedia's customer.  Expedia sent us a booking confirmation.  Which was thoughtful.  It didn't mention the need to bring the correct documentation for child passengers.  So, not so much.  

Our taxi driver, bless him, came back to collect us and didn't charge us the full fare.

Hopefully the courier will arrive on Saturday and we'll go to the airport and successfully board our flight. 

We have made memories.  They're not quite the ones we planned:

Trudging home from the airport instead of going on holiday.  

Being on hold for over an hour before being fobbed off by the travel company.  On the basis of their treatment of us so far, I will not be recommending Expedia to a friend or using them again.  The follow up call we were promised today is yet to materialise.

Bumming about at home waiting for the documentation to arrive.

The worry about whether it will all come together on Saturday.  Or whether we'll have to wait until Tuesday and end up have a very short African holiday indeed.

Some actions, if you would be so kind:

• Please share on Facebook, Twitter etc.  If this post helps save one family from repeating our experience it will be worth it.  

• If you are reading this and travelling to South Africa with children, then check your documentation.  If you have a standard birth certificate, then order an extended one from here.  (This link is for England and Wales, but includes contact information for Scotland and Northern Ireland).  It takes a few days.  Blended families need other documents.  The first link has details of those.

• Please share on Facebook, Twitter etc.  It may help us get a better response from Expedia than the one we're currently getting.  Shaming a company on social media to get them to do the decent thing seems wrong, but ...!  

Thank you for spreading the word.  I'll keep you posted on how we get on!  Wish us luck! 

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Things I'd Tell My Teenaged Self

Continuing from this week's earlier post on mentoring with the Girls' Network, here's some things I'd share with my teenage self if I was mentoring her.

No doubt if I share any of these with the Tubblet, she'll react in the same way as I would have at the same age.    Part of being a teenager is the core belief that all adults know nothing ... Particularly the ones you're related to.  

Stop mooning over that boy.  He's just not worth it.  Your prince will come.  Prince, at time of writing, is on the sofa watching a crap action film.  

People are nice.  Well most people.  Be nice back.

You can't force friendships.  School friends will come and go.  Forcing friendships only makes you unhappy.  Treasure the good friends you have for as long as you have them.

See the big picture.  There's more to life than school and getting into university.  (I crashed and burned so went to University later.  Going later meant I appreciated the experience more). Family, friends, hobbies and church are also important. 

Nobody else has a clue either.  Everybody is faking being an adult as it doesn't come with a manual.

Embrace your quirks.  I wish I'd learnt to accept myself, embrace my flaws and be happier in my own skin earlier. I was a gobby nerd at school and wasn't even remotely cool.  I'm now a proud gobby nerd and not remotely cool.  

Money doesn't make the world go round.  It's nice to have your own money, but no amount of shopping replaces a good memory.  So make some!  Savings are also important.  Build some.

You can do it.  Most things are achievable if you're willing to put the work and effort in.  (Actually this is a life lesson for any age).

Nobody cares if you have a tummy or a bum.  Most people are too busy worrying about the size of their own tummies and bums to worry about yours.  Lose weight and tone up if you want, but do it for yourself rather than for others.

Goals don't come with a time limit.  Just because you're not married or worked out what you want to do by the time you're x years old doesn't mean you never will.  Nobody is keeping a record apart from you.  Go have fun!

Trust your instincts.  Sometimes that inner voice telling you whether or not something is a good idea is the right one!

Parents are humans.  Yes we are!  Get to know them as people, learn to love them and forgive them for the mistakes they've made.

PE may be evil, but exercise is okay.  Try and get in shape now.  It'll be harder later.  

Life isn't fair.  It just isn't.  The quicker you realise that and Let It Go, the happier you'll be. 

Admit you're wrong.  We all get things wrong.  That's okay.  Admit you're wrong, accept that there is a better way to do things and apologise to people you've let down.  Then go and put things right.

The standards are too high.  The reason that you don't look like the girl or the boy in the magazine picture is because they're photoshopped.  Just do what you can with what you can. You look fine!

The style will come.  It may take a while, but it will!  Eventually you'll find what works.

Don't easily offend and don't be easily offended.  There's a lot to be said for developing a thick skin.  Most people aren't deliberately unkind, just thoughtless.  

Pick your battles. But once you've picked them, don't cave at the first sign of resistance.  

What would you tell your younger self if you could?

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Abi's favourite post on The List - You Baby, Me Mummy

Mentoring With the Girl's Network.

I grew up in a middle-class suburb with the expectation I'd finish school with a good set of exam results and go earn or learn.  20 minutes from by bus from where I grew up is a deprived housing estate.  Another world.  Here be dragons.  I never went there ever until Rev T worked at a church there as part of his preparation for Bible College.  

Once there, I met loads of really smart, funny, clever people I am proud to call friends.  Many left school with few qualifications, worked dead-end, low paid jobs before starting a family in their late teens or early twenties.  Some had become grand-parents in their 30's.  

People are the same wherever you go.  Most things newspapers say about the poor are untrue.   The only thing difference between us was that 20 minute bus ride.  Location isn't just about house prices.

Statistically, 16 year old girls from the poorest homes:

• 50% achieve no GCSE passes above grade D
• Less than 6% go onto higher eduction
• Only 2% reach selective universities.  

The Girl's Network

The Girl's Network believes that girl's futures shouldn't be limited by parental income or background. They work with schools in Brighton, London and Portsmouth.  They match girls from deprived estates like the one Rev T worked at with female mentors to help them:

• Explore career opportunities
• Develop skills, confidence and self esteem
• To help them achieve their goals throughout education and beyond.  

All the things I took for granted when growing up.  All the things the headmistress of the school that the Tubblet will start at in September assumes as a given for the girls she'll be educating for the next 7 years.

When work asked for volunteer mentors to work with the Girl's Network, I replied by return. Blessings are only blessings if they're shared.  The Tubblet will be a teenager in a year so some knowledge of that world as it is now can't hurt.  

The Girl's Network match you with a mentee.  Mine is G, a dance mad 15 year old.  As opposite to me as it's possible to be!

Risk Taking

This week's session was on risk taking.  Girls in general are quite risk adverse, but without taking risks things always stay the way they already are.  With no chances of growth, change or new life experiences.  The guest speaker was Natalie Lowe from Strictly.

Natalie spoke about the need to combine risk taking with risk management,  illustrated with stories from her own life and then spoke individually to the girls.

Hopefully, this reflects Natalie's talk:

• Identify the goals you want to achieve.
• Work out what you need to do to get there and start working towards the goal.  Conquer the fear of failure.  
• Have a safety net and a back up plan if things don't quite work out.  Natalie's dad insisted she get a trade in case the dancing didn't work out so she qualified as a beautician.
• Trust  the process.  If it's meant for you, it will happen.  If it isn't, then other doors will open leading to unknown opportunities.  You will get there in the end, even if you end up going the long way round.  
• Believe in yourself.  Risk taking means being willing to stand out and show you're a leader not a follower.  
• Be willing to make sacrifices and work hard.  Natalie is here but her family is in Australia and she trains for many hours. 

Valuable lessons for any age!

For my mentee, and for some of the others, this session was probably the  hallelujah moment. Suddenly this wasn't a hideous time suck but a valuable opportunity to be grabbed.  I'll blog about the other sessions as we have them. This was the last one before the summer break.  This week, there will be a post on things I'd tell my teenaged self as well. Then it'll be almost time for the break I've talked about here.  Can't wait!  

Mentoring.  Could you?  Should you?  

Hell, yeah!  Mentoring is just a posh word for listening to a young person, offering suggestions and advice without judgement.  Sharing about your own life and experience when relevant.  Giving them tools to (hopefully) make a better decision, but leaving them to decide.  Just by being there and taking the time, you're encouraging them to believe in themselves, teaching them life skills and widening their horizons. You don't want the mentee to feel it's a hour and a half of someone nagging about the same stuff as their parents and school teachers.  In a different location.  

Mentoring is a very practical way of helping a young person and making a difference.  There are various schemes out there.  There's some training and you'll need a record check. It's challenging, but totally worth it!


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House Rules That Now Make Sense

When I was a child, I never understood parental gems like, "No shoes on the bed ...", but now I am a parent I do.  

Here are some things I insist the Tubblet does.  Despite hating having to do them myself when I was the same age.  Or not even doing them at all.  Do as I say not as I did.  Sorry mum and dad!

• Make the bed.  Everyday.

• Don't wear shoes in the house.

• Live within your means.  No pocket money top ups if what you've been given on Saturday is all spent by Monday.

• No television after 10pm.  

• No phone calls after 9pm.

• Keep the place tidy and clean up after yourself.

• Turn off the lights when you're not in the room.  

• Turn off things you're not using.

• Eat your greens.  And its variant, if you don't eat what's on your plate, there's nothing else.

• Wash everything up before you leave the house or go to bed.

• No elbows on the table.

• Hang up your coat and put your clothes away.

Are you now enforcing rules that make you roll your eyes when you were a child?  Let me know which ones in the comments.

ETA:  Rev T has read this and asked me to let you know that I am, and I quote, a "fraudy, fraud pants".  I'd tell you that the quality of conversation in our house is usually better than that, but ... um ...  I'm still not very tidy.


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6 Tips for Happy Skin

Everyone wants radiant, healthy looking skin.  Genetics is part of the story, but there are some things that'll help:

• Sunscreen.  Using a facial SPF helps prevent grey looking skin, wrinkles / sagging and skin cancer. Try Benefit's Dream Screen or Soap & Glory's Make Yourself Youthful Sunshield Superfluid SPF50.
• Healthy diet.  We all like different things and I'm not a nutritionist.  (Sarah at Run, Jump, Scrap is a dietian so her posts on diet and fitness are worth a look). But eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, cutting down on sugar and processed food can't hurt!
• Sleep.  Get as many good, undistributed night's sleep as you can.  (Children permitting!)
• Drink lots of water.  Keeping hydrated helps keep skin looking good but also flushes out toxins that can make it look dull.  I carry a refillable bottle of water with me most days.  It's full of London tap. Saves buying bottled water.  That helps the bank balance and the environment!
• Fresh air.  Blow those mental and physical cobwebs away by going for a walk.   You'll soak up some rays at the same time, getting some Vitamin D.
• Skincare.  There are loads of excellent products that will help keep skin looking great. Cleanse, cleanse, cleanse then tone, rub on some serum, followed by a mosturiser and eye cream.  

All the skincare recommendations above also work, with a little adaption, for gentlemen.  I've never seen a toner for men, but loads of face washes, mosturisers, eye creams and SPFs are available. Based on Rev T's purchases, Bulldog, Dove and L'Oreal are good.

We've done a minutes silence for victims of the Tunisia shootings at work.  Sobering and sad.  My heart goes out to everyone impacted by this.  Whatever else you do today, give your family a hug and call your best friend.  Focus on #hopenothate and  #illridewithyou. The vast majority of Muslims just want to get on with their lives and as horrified by this as anyone else. #peoplelikeus.


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London on the Cheap in the School Holidays

Samuel Johnson said that a man who is tired of London is tired of life.  One thing about London that is tiresome is how expensive it is.  But it is possible to have explore London within spending much, or anything at all.  With the kids!

As the summer holidays are coming up, here are some suggestions about where you could go on your day trip.  

Museums

From the Science Museum via the V&A, the Natural History to the Imperial War Museum.  London has museums covering every interest and every subject.  Many are free.  Rev T and the Tubblet recommend the Bank of England Museum. Complete with real gold bar.

Here's a selection of exhibits from the Imperial War Museum's World War One gallery:

Entertainers in Covent Garden

Fancy a West End show?  Me too, but not at the prices they charge!  If the weather is sunny, then you'll see all sorts of amazing mini-shows and street performers.  Please take some change to donate to the ones that entertained you the most.

Trails

I've seen elephants, buses, Faberge eggs, Shaun the Sheep and Olympic mascots on my walk to work and wandering about during my lunch break.  Print off a map and see London by visiting each one.   You can compete with each other about who gets to collect the most or finds them first.  Many of London's sights are close together so you see more if you walk.  Louise at Little Hearts, Big Love has a great account of seeing Shaun in the City.

Parks

London's lungs.  Plan your route so it takes in a park so you can have a picnic lunch whilst people watching.  (Weather permitting!)

Take the River Bus

There are five river buses that'll give you a completely different perspective on London.  Tickets are cheap compared to the tourist ferry's and you can use Oyster.  Have a look at Transport for London's website for routes and prices.  I still remember my first trip on the London River Bus with my mum and dad.  I was eight, which was a long time ago!

Well, that's one day sorted!  Hopefully you've got lots of ideas for the other ones.

And a short public service announcement ... 

All parents brace themselves for the school holidays. Keeping the children entertained is challenging whatever your circumstances.  If you've friends who'll find the school holidays more difficult than most, invite their kids round for play-dates or include them in an outing if you can.

Much of the support poor families rely on, such as free school meals, stop over the holidays.  Food bank usage increases. Please donate if you're able to.  No child should go hungry.

Have a wonderful time.  And good luck!  

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